Ok, cool, so, leaving aside all the other stuff and going into the gay butterfly effect thing - which, again, while cool-sounding is not really a thing? Would make a cool movie or strip, but totally not a thing. You definitely did not turn me gay, that isn't how shit works, and also I am not? Gay, I mean. I'm not gay. Dirk's gay. Rose is pretty fuckin' gay, though she may not be the Full Gay, I can't be sure, it doesn't effectively matter unless she says it does?

[ don't

don't keep rambling about other people's sexualities although all of these are kind of Public Knowledge what with the dude-dating and the lady-dating respectively.

why isn't this any less awkward than it was last time, fuck ]

So anyway you know how we always say no homo and shit because we're not homo and also shit we say. Is not homo.

[ nO NOT THAT LINE AGAIN dave very deadpan turns the oven on and curses his fate ]