001 ❖ video/action

[uncorrupts]

--why are you taking your hands off the steering?

--because I have to get a good angle for my viewers! Duh.

[introducing your host, gamer girl extraordinaire.]

Listen, this isn't the time to be doing that. We need to reach the base on this radar, and we need to work together.

--she's working on her blog! Oi, listen to him!

[the video feed turns to focus on the other two aboard the ship; one’s a toothy young redhead who seems to be wearing nothing but swimming jammers for some reason, and the other is an older guy in some power rangers suit of sorts. welcome aboard S.S. Inappropriately Dressed]

--excuse you, it’s not a blog! It’s called a livestream! Anyway, the name’s D.Va, and the older guy to my left's not a bad pilot. Ignore the guy behind me.

--you're judging other pilots right now!? I’d give you a 0 out of 10! We almost just hit that reef, holy shi --

--rude! Seriously, chill out for a second, will you? I'd like to see you do better!

I'd like to see you do better too!

The two of you, stop! [shiro, the older guy, seems to have had it with their bickering, pulling the steering handle upwards to avoid a cluster of mushroom trees likely to ruin their ship] The seas are rough as it is, we need to work as a team right now. You can go at each other's throat once we're out of this!

Ch, if we get out -- fine, what do you want us to do?

You, in the back, buckle up. You’re going to get thrown about and hurt.

...A-ah... [a guilty click... safety first yo]

And you, D.Va, is it? Concentrate on piloting. It’s hard to see and the seas are pushing us around as it is, so try and keep the ship as stable as you can!

-- ...Okay, fine.

...I can livestream your stupid piloting if you want from back here.

-- If you know how to set it up, be my guest!

Hey, to your right!

[it seems like a crash, the lights going red on board, and the visual feed spinning as the ship spirals out of control under their hands. good thing shiro told you to buckle up, huh, rin? amidst this mess, some shouting and ordering about, the stream cuts off. will our heroes live another day?]

[yeah, they do]

-- ot it all. That was actually some really amazing piloting, both of you... [someone sounds a little starstruck... what sugoi he has witnessed, the world will never know, because rin did not in fact record that shit]

D.va, well done. That was really impressive--I have to say I wouldn’t have been able to pull this off without you. [turning around, he smiles at the redhead teen, even if wtf? at your lack of clothes, homie] Doing alright? Name's Shiro, by the way.

-- Rin. -- It's a girl's name, but I'm a guy.

[shiro gives him an odd look. d.va definitely does the same.]

-- Aww, you’re so sweet, Shiro! [d.va flashes a grateful smile at him, also thoroughly impressed.] Honestly, it was your quick thinking that got us out of trouble. I usually don't like being ordered around, but I'll let it slide. [she then turns to rin, sitting behind her--and he better have recorded all of that!!] See? Told you we'd be fine!

[shiro offers a smile at them both. thumbs up with his mechanical arm.]

Let's get out of here and see who we can find in the base. They might be able to help us out.

[little did our heroes know that upon opening that door into the base, they would be greeted by the sickness apocalypse. moans, groans, sniffles and hacks. what’s worse, the ocean going nuts outside because of a hurricane, or the dribbly-nosed zombies in the only place considered safe from the elements?]

...after all that, is this place haunted or something...? E-eh --

You guys might want to stand back--

[...was that your burrito of death our triumphant trio has just trampled, like those wildebeests over mufasa? remember... remember...]

Comments

[gnasher]

[this guy looks like shit. it makes Rin feel slightly better, since he lost his cool about two ghosts ago]

[maybe he's a camp counselor?]

The deep-sea research program out of Tokyo? -- I'm Rin Matsuoka, from the Iwatobi prefecture, recently scouted by Sydney's national team.

[slowly, his gaze slides to... the puppet... hanging from Dirk's hand]

[counselors... needed educational tools... like puppets, right]

[right...]

[splinten]

[Yeah nope. Dirk follows the movement of that gaze behind his shades. He should put Cal in his sylladex but people don't always respond well to Dirk popping things in and out of it so he'll wait.

Instead, he stares stoically at this teenager. It... is very hard to tell that though. Since he's also wearing the surgical mask Hinata gave him. This life.]

No, dude. This is an alien planet.

[Oh, right. An introduction was given. He should return that.]

Dirk Strider. From Houston. Recently sick as a soon-to-be-extinct Earth species.

[gnasher]

Yo.

[this guy's got a weird sense of humour. and a weird... everything. Rin thought he looked absurd in his jammers and bare feet; Dirk is outpacing by several leagues (nautical ones, obviously) with his godtier PJs and covered-up face]

...We heard there's been a flu or something going around, but if anything, you seem like a bunch of zombies, not aliens.

[gnasher]

Should you really be out of bed?

[splinten]

To clarify the point, I'm human, and so is most of the crew. [And then there's Octodad and the Crankiest Alien and the Flirtbot and... Let's stick with the humans for now. Either way, he realizes this is not someone who is going to immediately leap into believing all the weirdness here. He's like Hinata or something.]

I probably shouldn't be out of bed.

But someone had to get the doorbell.

[gnasher]

[Rin wants to say something like, is a half-dead puppet-toting ninja the best first impression of life on this base, but Dirk is clearly Struggling for some sort of general good here, and doesn't deserve extra sass]

[not lingering on that "most" too much...]

Well, thanks, I guess. I don't think any of us are expecting complimentary gift baskets, if that makes you feel any better.

[ok, a little sass]

We've already been updated on the kitchen flood situation. I was thinking I'd head that way, see if I can't help out.

[regardless of still toting his crap and wearing a swimsuit like a dumbshit, yep]

If we get it in better working order, maybe try to make some food for the people that shouldn't be out of bed.

[hint, hint]

[splinten]

[That's really considerate of you, Rin. You know what you need? Some lowkey sass right back at you.]

You might want to put on something more practical before you go tucking us all in with our fishchicken soup. You could get your abs burned.

[Look. Prince God Tier garb is embarrassing and unfashionable, but it is at least super practical. He does not think swimming jammers are quite the as practical out of the water.]

[gnasher]

[because Rin is a giant tool and also The Red One, he turns a bit flush at that]

Ch, don't underestimate my skills at -- did you say fishchicken? How is that even evolutionarily sound?

[well, whatever; Rin shrugs, giving it up as more weird delivered to him from what appears to be the marshal general of weird]

I'll find something to get on. ...No offense, but I don't think I'll ask you to lend me anything.

[those weird poofy shorts are sure something]

[splinten]

[He wants to tell Rin that fishchicken is a thing, but then he might have to talk about birdogs. It might be better to just skip it.]

Trust me. I wouldn't ask anyone to wear this embarrassment.

[Dirk hates his outfit so much Rin? You don't understand. He just hates it so much but they're his only magically-clean-at-all-times clothes so he has to wear them right now but he hates them so much.]

We dug up a fabric maker lately. It should help.

[gnasher]

[a fabric maker, huh? he almost asks wth, but it sounds pretty straightforward, like some dumb bullshit off the Jetsons. like sandwich-o-matic or dog-washer-upper-5000]

[takes some pity on the walmart greeter here]

I could make two of whatever, if that would help with [a gesture at Dirk] what's happening with your welcome wagon uniform.

[he kind of just wants to direct Dirk to go the fuck to sleep, but he's also... wondering what the hell the game plan is. Rin's an obsessive planner in his own way (though maybe not to as far degrees as some)]

-- You don't really need to bother with this, if you give me some idea of where to go from here. I think we're pretty self-sufficient.

[says the slice of life swimmer entirely out of his depth (har har)]

[splinten]

Thanks, but this dumbass outfit is surprisingly comfortable and magically incapable of getting dirty. I'm sticking to it until I no longer consider bleeding out to be a superior fate to whatever this seaplague is supposed to be.

[The terrible outfit has a cause.

But Dirk gives a blank look which is totally lost on anyone because no one can see his face but it's there, feel it. Feel it. He knows he's being sent back to bed.

And then his shoulders lower in a silent exhale because sharkmouth there is right, he does need to go back to bed.]

Medbay is that way. Kitchen is down that hall and might still be flooded. Ask around for one of the Hajimes if you want the Fabricator.

[gnasher]

Thanks.

[he does feel it. he feels it mostly because he's a teenager sending another teenager to bed, and he knows it's embarrassing for both of them, but much, much more embarrassing for Dirk]

[have a slightly embarrassed smile]

I'm guessing there's nothing in the medbay that I could bring back to reward you for helping some lost new guys out.

[splinten]

[Dirk does not appear to be embarrassed, which honestly if he can walk around in this get-up, truly he must be a man with no sense of embarrassment at all. Indeed, he takes a different tact completely.]

Not really.

Do I not at least get a tuck in?

[MOM.]

[gnasher]

[Rin, by contrast, has 0 chill, and some colour creeps back to his face. by "some," I mean more than that]

[but of course backing down isn't for SHARKS, so you wanna? go??? you're on]

No. Actually, I'm feeling pretty tired from traveling all day. Can I get a piggyback ride to my bunk?

[since you're not sick and don't need to go to bed at all]

[splinten]

[Okay. Dirk drops Cal into his sylladex for safe keeping, walks up to Rin, then turns around and crouches with his arms tucked out. Get on, sharkmouth.]

Fair warning. They're air mattresses.

[gnasher]

[no. what the fuck. he can't do this. why did you call his bluff? fuck you and the poofy pants you rode in on]

I don't think you can lift me in your delicate state. [then, with actual dismay] -- Air mattresses?

[splinten]

Trust me. I've carried heavier in worse.

[Also yes on the air mattresses, he'll let his non-response speak for itself.]

[gnasher]

Are you not standing back up because you're too exhausted? Are you stuck like that?

[why hasn't he moved? this is literally the worst thing to happen to anybody ever in all these universes. it's excruciating. normally, he'd crush the other person's back with his foot or just fall on top of them, but Dirk is sick. he shouldn't kick a sick person, right?]

[after a moment, the blanket Rin had gotten off a helpful, if grouchy crew-mate falls gently on Dirk's shoulders]

You were falling asleep, sitting right there.

[splinten]

I don't sleep easy.

[But if that's how Rin is going to do it? It's a nice blanket. And if Dirk were less sick, he'd know he should be nice in return. But he is sick, and his body is responding to his brain without his brain having enough energy to filter its decisions.

That is why in a flash invisible to the eye, Dirk is right in front of Rin. And Rin is now over Dirk's shoulder.]

There aren't designated rooms. Just pick a spot and drop your mattress there.

[He is now going to just walk with Rin over his shoulder sorry Rin you have to stop him.]

[gnasher]

[no good deed goes unpunished; after laying down the white flag of soft, blanketed peace, he's drawn up like a sack of fucking potatoes over his weird guy's shoulder, with no steps inbetween]

[blurts, completely red from his hair to his collarbones, at this point]

Are you serious -- ?!

[he's not talking about the room assignments. do not even.]

Y-you're so sleepy you can't even follow directions! This isn't a piggyback! Oi! Put me down, bastard!

[why does this keep happening to him??]

[splinten]

Dude. I'm sick. I'm not asleep.

[But he does, obligingly, set Rin down. See how nice he is? He is a very nice person.]

Don't worry. You shouldn't get ill from that. [His hands are gloved and magically clean so it's fine.]

[gnasher]

[oh the turntables; back on his feet after this mortifying display, Rin looks a bit shocked for a second (he's an Emotional guy). he then follows that moment of inaction up with one of action (he's also a rough-housing, Dumbass kind of guy), lunging forward like a shark (ok, no, more like a shitty teenage boy trying to get revenge and throw this straight-faced guy over his shoulder -- )]

[splinten]

[Rin lunges and his hand seems to slip through Dirk—because it's an afterimage, and now Dirk is standing where Rin used to be.]

No thanks, dude. I can walk myself.

[..........................

His face however has become completely pale and behind his surgical mask he is clamping his mouth shut, tongue to roof. All of his muscles tighten to keep him from falling over or throwing up. He moved way too fast.

HE HAS MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.]

[gnasher]

[this is also slightly disorienting for Rin, who -- among his friends and most of his team -- is always in at least the top 3 of strongest and most agile. that kind of anime speed and switcheroo nonsense isn't something he's used to, and it actually snaps him out of his dumbassery long enough to be impressed]

[even sick, that guy can move like that?]

[it's too bad Rin doesn't realise how ill Dirk feels, considering he can only see about 20% of his face. all he heard was the sassy comment]

How did you do that? -- Oi, you're the one who started this shit, asking to get tucked in.

[approaches, picking up the blanket that had flashed off Dirk's shoulders, offering it out to return]

[splinten]

[Dirk takes the blanket with limbs that he doesn't allow to shake. And then, very quickly, he wraps it around his shoulders. He gives Rin a thumbs up to indicate point taken or whatever.

He cannot talk because if he does he will not be okay.]