enjoy ur memes (open action/telepathy)

[alienates]

a; *muffled mission impossible theme playing in the distance*

[ if you're around the library, you may see one [1] karkat hard at work at something, dutifully typing away. in fact, he seems to be at this for several hours. although... the more time passes, the more annoyed he seems to be? for some reason? and he keeps yelling at poor URSULA, who has never done anything wrong in her entire life? ]

Oh my fucking god, no! I do not need to go to them for help. I know what I'm doing, why don't you go be a disembodied voice to one of the other dumbasses here?

[ hmmm, wonder what he's up to? ]

b; *hacker voice* i'm in

[ so. you guys may now notice that your communicators are acting... off. internet memes are now randomly playing, both when you're trying to use the device and when you're not. it can be pretty annoying! or hilarious. depending on your opinions on memes.

it is a total mystery as to what the cause of this is. or it would be, if it isn't for the fact that about an hour or so after all of this begins, a telepathic voice starts talking to everyone. ]

I just want it to be perfectly clear that it wasn't me. If you want to point any fingers as to who's to blame for this fiasco, please direct your various appendages to someone else. Personally, I think the AI is very suspicious, as she does not know how to shut the fuck up when you are doing something that requires no distractions. That is all.

c; someone give me another hacker joke

[ after the above mentioned incidents, your characters may spot karkat wandering around the base. they may also hear what sounds like a song playing extremely faintly. however, when you approach, the song stops so abruptly that you may question ever hearing it in the first place.

what they do definitely hear, though, is karkat. yelling. again.

For the last time, I know it's you! Stop saying you don't know what I'm talking about. No, I don't need to go to the med bay to check my hearing. You are a goddamn liar and I swear to all of paradox space I will prove it.

[ URSULA does not deserve this harsh treatment. ]

Comments

c

[splinten]

Sounds rough. Have you consulted the facts?

[Dirk forwards a video that URSULA had given to him and Dave.]

[alienates]

Is there an instructional video about telling someone to fuck off? Because if so, I would be sending it to you right now.

[ he has seen enough of those videos to last a lifetime, dirk. stop. ]

[splinten]

Let me check.

This should be close. [Yeah he found another video for Karkat so.]

Thanks, incidentally. I should have had more faith that a troll would be able to turn this base into something a little bit more like the Internet.

b

[potentite]

[Jake is here to help.]

Goodness, do you think we were born yesterday on the lookout? And why is this sea lion so uncouth?

[alienates]

What? Do we have talking sea lions now too?

[ he completely ignores the first part because karkat is obviously innocent in all of this. ]

[potentite]

That would be neat! But no. [He sends the rude sea lion to him.] See? What does it mean? You must know it.

[Because you sent it, doof.]

b. tho i guess it could become c later

[mistimed]

Oh! I have only just learned the correct response to give in this scenario. [She sounds proud. Horō's only been living alongside them for a few days. Learning to be one of them and communicate with them makes her feel as though it will be easier for all of them to succeed together.]

Please, allow me to demonstrate my newfound knowledge:

That sounds fake, but all right.

[alienates]

[ karkat isn't sure why but somehow he feels more offended being called out by horō than everyone else? probably because she seems so excited about it. ]

Was that a meme? Did you just use a meme against me? I am assuming it was one, because that's all I have been subjected to for the last few hours and I do not goddamn appreciate everyone ganging up on me over something that had nothing to do with me.

[mistimed]

I must apologize. Was my usage incorrect? [She sounds genuinely remorseful, her mental voice a little wispy.]

I was unaware that others would torment you for this. Is there some history of this language with which I may be unfamiliar?

[She'll tackle the 'gentleman doth protest too much' aspect of his original message some other time. Tactless as she may be sometimes, she is worried about hurt feelings. People with hurt feelings have a tendency to break rank, and she'd hate to see him accidentally put himself or others into danger.]

b

[mythbuster]

Why do you think people would think it was you?

[ This is mostly a hypothetical question. From just ten seconds of listening to this guy, Loki is pretty sure it was him. ]

[alienates]

I don't because I am entirely innocent. I just wanted to make sure everyone was completely aware of just how innocent I am before people begin to point fingers.

[ this logic somehow makes sense to him. ]

[mythbuster]

I see. I don't know you at all, but you sound trustworthy so I'll believe you.

[ Delivered in a perfectly matter-of-fact tone of voice. ]

I wonder who it could've been. That person deserves some form of punishment, don't you think?

[napstablook]

[ The glumest, most forlorn voice floats through the telepathy networks, trying not to be noticed. ]

Could they make it stop showing the comic about the man, the ghost, and their neighbour?

It's, uh, not really appreciated.

no ghostjobs. none.

[showybusiness]

[ There is now a very angry robotic voice screeching across the network. It's like a printer fucking a dial-up modem while imitating a bunch of monkeys screaming.

A robot is very upset. ]

STOP HARASSING THE RESIDENT GHOSTS LIKE THIS WITH YOUR PERVERSION. HOW DARE YOU.

[napstablook]

[ There is a long pause. ]

Are you... okay...

[alienates]

As I have nothing to do with this, I have no idea how to get that to stop. I haven't even seen that particular comic yet.

[ the last part isn't a lie, at least, karkat has yet to see that meme. ]

[napstablook]

Sorry... I didn't mean you... I meant the person that did it.

[ They made this so awkward. Oh no... ]

So that's... URSULA, right?

b;

[voidkatini]

[ Aww, how cute. Karkat's found a new friend. Fortunately, Roxy's been working on URSULA's programming for the last month, and there's no system on the planet she knows better. She's been living, breathing, eating, and sleeping this code, and she knows the overall system and network like the back of her hand by now. As such, she knows who's trying to fuck with things, and who's not.

But she's not mad at Karkat. If anything, Roxy is amused at these shenanigans. ]

She's just an AI tryna do her job, Shoutypants. She has no ulterior motives.

[alienates]

Oh I'm onto you. She keeps trying to get me to ask you for help, which I do not need, because I have nothing to do with this. So excuse me if I do not exactly trust your clearly biased opinion on this matter.

[ if they were in front of each other he would do the points at eyes thing ]

[voidkatini]

Look, Iunno what you're even fussin' about? It's just totes uncool to fuck with with the 'puters here 'cause you got a bug up your butt over whatever. Even if the memes are fuckin' hilar, A++ material just fuckin' dump all the pluses out onto the floor, they're yours! Uhm.

Look, all I'm sayin' is don't be rude.

[ Roxy just thinks he's cuter when he's angry at this point, so whatever. ]

b

[parodeity]

[ there's a mental snort before he talks, but maybe that was enough to go off of. ]

Babe, that's the least believable denial in the history of both our universes.

[alienates]

Fuck off, I don't see what's unbelievable about it? I am just informing everyone that this has nothing to do with me before any rumors start.

[ honestly he is insulted that dave does not believe him? rude. ]

[parodeity]

Ok, dude, just ask Dirk or Mom for help if you decide you want to undo this. Although I have to say I approve of the meme life? What were you even trying to do that resulted in memes, do I wanna know?

[ dave knows you too well and is also not an idiot, karkat, so. SO. ]

C, just casually responds to this late it's fine everything's fine...

[tyrian]

[Hey, it's Karkat! She's pretty excited to see him! Even if he's shouting at probably Ursula! What's the best way to say hi?

Obviously it's to pop up directly in front of him from behind a corner.]

Don't yell at URSULA, Karkat! She's really helpful!

everyone else was just early you're right on time

[alienates]

Helpful? She has been fucking with me all morning. She may have you all fooled, but she is not going to pull the woolbeast skin over my eyes-- wait fuck Feferi.

[ karkat was told that she is here and has thus prepared a speech for when they finally run into each other?? he has seen other feferis but those were all like, doomed timeline ones and not his so they don't count.

HE CAN DO THIS. he can apologize for letting her get murdered. yes. ]

Soooo you look very. Alive.