closed boardgame log

[parodeity]

[ so if you were invited to a homestuck boardgame picnic on friday at high noon, this is where you'd go. there's like nachos. the guest list is iirc dave dirk rose roxy jake karkat. there's also picnic blankets?

more importantly there is monopoly. what do u do. ]

Comments

[grimdeity]

[ rose is here. she may eat at least one nacho. she will make sure there's juice of various flavors (apple, orange, grape, etc). she will take the thimble in monopoly and kick some ass at it. she will become a fearsome landlord and drive you off your land. she will go into detail about the history of each property.

if she's allowed to be the banker she will start making up new, complex, absurdist rules. she will make the bank a government treasury slash government agency with the power to take your land and build a roadway or sell it to imaginary rich old men who want to make it a mall and gentrify the area. don't let her be the banker.

basically this is vague so wildcard me. ]

[splinten]

[Did someone say tyrannical power?? He is ready to fight this corruption.]

I roll to start a plucky journalist's investigation into the power structures behind the bank.

[Dirk is convinced he can roll for this.]

[grimdeity]

I'll allow it. But for the investigation to bear fruit, you must roll a 20. Otherwise, your plucky journalist might find very little of interest. Unless they also open a platinum premier savings account, of course.

[ yes, someone brought out dungeon rpg die for monopoly, just for the heck of it. because why not. ]

[splinten]

The truth won't be held hostage to money. My plucky journalist will throw herself against any odds.

[He rolls the d20 because Rose and Dirk cannot play Monopoly]

[alienates]

[ on the assumption that rose is the banker, ]

Oh my god, Rose. Just take my fake money. I don't care if I'm destroying the cultural significance of this street by building on it.

[grimdeity]

You've been presented with a petition against building upon this street, signed by 500,000 people worldwide. Are you really going to ignore that for the sake of your hotel empire? Last chance to preserve this cultural landmark.

[ said with complete seriousness. ]

[alienates]

What? Wait, go back. Why do that many people care about this street? Rose, I want the full context for this. Give me the history of this so called cultural landmark.

[ TAKE HIS FAKE MONEY??? ]

[voidkatini]

[ Roxy loves it when Rose is banker because she likes to listen to the details of her worldbuilding, interjecting here and there with suggestions. Most of said details seem to revolve around these imaginary rich old men being embroiled in illicit love affairs with one another, and other such earth-shattering scandals. There may even be dabblings in magic and the occult on the side? The elite are an eccentric bunch, apparently. ]

Idk, I think Uncle Pennybags is kinda cute too? I'd hit it.

[ she also likes talking about wanting to bang the Monopoly dude? jfc ]

[grimdeity]

Please do not tap the ass of Mr Pennyworth. I don't think he'd make a good step-father or son-in-law.

[ roxy pls. rose is amused but ROXY PLS. ]

[parodeity]

[ dave's obviously around and snags a seat by dirk, and probably also by rose? maybe? but anyway. he'll eat a few nachos when reminded they exist but will otherwise exist mostly to drink apple juice.

game-wise he didn't actually make a fuss about game pieces or anything but would have waited for everyone else to pick and taken whatever was let, though he glanced at the top hat maybe once. its hard to say???

he will have offered to be banker but if anyone else expressed interest would have immediately backed off. that said, he seems to do...all right? with the game? mostly he wings it and Shrugs if he loses traction and buys pretty much whatever. his money sense is actually decent but he's not putting in a whole lot of effort into strategy or anything. dave's more inclined to start up random debates about capitalism or to ask if they can make get out of jail free cards a Thing for other things, because that sounds like fun. mostly though he just makes random comments and after starting any debate will promptly make up new sides just for the sake of it, apparently.

im just following megan's example here ]

[grimdeity]

[ sees dave looking at the hat. picks it up, throws it at him. take the hat. ]

[parodeity]

[ catches it out of the air with a flashstep-speed snap of his hand. ]

Yo, watch the shades, they'll crack if you hit 'em.

[alienates]

[ karkat is also here and probably mostly spends the afternoon glued to jake's side?? and whenever jake moves he will just be. there. waiting for jake to come back why

he takes the dog and will shoot rose a Look at the thimble???? no. also he probably wanted to be the banker but then backed down from the role for whatever reason. who knows. karkat will do his usual arguing and will claim that everyone is cheating and will get up and leave like twenty times before coming back to eat nachos

although he will also be... a lot quieter than he normally is between all of this. again. for whatever reason. ]

[potentite]

[There, there, Karkat... Jake is here for you. He stays with him, because he is a good friend now.]

I don't think you can cheat at this game! It's pretty fair, isn't it?

[alienates]

There is literally no such thing as a fair game? I am pretty sure it's physically impossible for that to be a thing.

[parodeity]

None of us are cheatin'. Rose and Dirk are just fuckin' around and embellishing the story.

[ said neutrally after time, like, 18. ]

Do you like the nachos?

[alienates]

[ he rolls his eyes because he does not trust anyone to not cheat. also, he has like three nachos in his hand. ]

They're alright.

[ munch ]

[splinten]

[Dirk's methodology for this particular game of monopoly is to suggest a coalition whereby they seize the means of production back from the moustachioed villains at the bank. This statement is made regardless of who plays banker; clearly that is the way to go. He will unhesitatingly argue about capitalism, and the history of Monopoly, or literally anything else. After a moment glancing at the hat, he decided to instead pick the Iron.

He's very present in the general flow of conversation. Almost like?? he feels like he should be making sure it stays on certain tracks and doesn't get anywhere dangerous??? hm]

[potentite]

[Jake can't not argue with Dirk sorry.]

It's not that deep. It's a board game.

[splinten]

You're arguing that things don't have importance just because you don't think about them.

[Hahah he's ready to rumble English. Bring it.]

[parodeity]

[ eyeing dirk eyeing the hat. ]

You changed your mind because?

[splinten]

[He holds up the iron.]

Irony.

[voidkatini]

[ Roxy catches Dirk at the tail-end of a rather heated argument about whatever the fuck (she zoned out, sorry, it's just that arguing is boring af??). She elbows him in the side. ]

Dude. Lighten up a lil', will ya?

[ she is going to hang this sopping wet blanket out to dry!!! ]

[splinten]

[He catches her elbow.] Light as a cloud here, brosis.

[Come on Roxy you know he likes arguing??? It's his fun.]

[voidkatini]

[ Roxy is ecstatic when Rose leaves her the cat piece, because cats are great like that? Y'all can fight over all of the other pieces, she doesn't even care. Cats are great and so is Rose for leaving only the best piece for her. It must have been very difficult for her to give it up like that.

Depending on who's playing the role of banker, Roxy uses her Voidy powers to nab money when no one's looking... or when she thinks no one is looking, anyway. The only time she doesn't cheat is when Rose is banker because even she knows better than to cross Rose like that?

Overall, Roxy is more interested in hoarding as much money as possible, and engaging in idle chit-chat, than actually playing the game. You don't need a strategy to have fun! ]