001 ❖ video/action

[uncorrupts]

--why are you taking your hands off the steering?

--because I have to get a good angle for my viewers! Duh.

[introducing your host, gamer girl extraordinaire.]

Listen, this isn't the time to be doing that. We need to reach the base on this radar, and we need to work together.

--she's working on her blog! Oi, listen to him!

[the video feed turns to focus on the other two aboard the ship; one’s a toothy young redhead who seems to be wearing nothing but swimming jammers for some reason, and the other is an older guy in some power rangers suit of sorts. welcome aboard S.S. Inappropriately Dressed]

--excuse you, it’s not a blog! It’s called a livestream! Anyway, the name’s D.Va, and the older guy to my left's not a bad pilot. Ignore the guy behind me.

--you're judging other pilots right now!? I’d give you a 0 out of 10! We almost just hit that reef, holy shi --

--rude! Seriously, chill out for a second, will you? I'd like to see you do better!

I'd like to see you do better too!

The two of you, stop! [shiro, the older guy, seems to have had it with their bickering, pulling the steering handle upwards to avoid a cluster of mushroom trees likely to ruin their ship] The seas are rough as it is, we need to work as a team right now. You can go at each other's throat once we're out of this!

Ch, if we get out -- fine, what do you want us to do?

You, in the back, buckle up. You’re going to get thrown about and hurt.

...A-ah... [a guilty click... safety first yo]

And you, D.Va, is it? Concentrate on piloting. It’s hard to see and the seas are pushing us around as it is, so try and keep the ship as stable as you can!

-- ...Okay, fine.

...I can livestream your stupid piloting if you want from back here.

-- If you know how to set it up, be my guest!

Hey, to your right!

[it seems like a crash, the lights going red on board, and the visual feed spinning as the ship spirals out of control under their hands. good thing shiro told you to buckle up, huh, rin? amidst this mess, some shouting and ordering about, the stream cuts off. will our heroes live another day?]

[yeah, they do]

-- ot it all. That was actually some really amazing piloting, both of you... [someone sounds a little starstruck... what sugoi he has witnessed, the world will never know, because rin did not in fact record that shit]

D.va, well done. That was really impressive--I have to say I wouldn’t have been able to pull this off without you. [turning around, he smiles at the redhead teen, even if wtf? at your lack of clothes, homie] Doing alright? Name's Shiro, by the way.

-- Rin. -- It's a girl's name, but I'm a guy.

[shiro gives him an odd look. d.va definitely does the same.]

-- Aww, you’re so sweet, Shiro! [d.va flashes a grateful smile at him, also thoroughly impressed.] Honestly, it was your quick thinking that got us out of trouble. I usually don't like being ordered around, but I'll let it slide. [she then turns to rin, sitting behind her--and he better have recorded all of that!!] See? Told you we'd be fine!

[shiro offers a smile at them both. thumbs up with his mechanical arm.]

Let's get out of here and see who we can find in the base. They might be able to help us out.

[little did our heroes know that upon opening that door into the base, they would be greeted by the sickness apocalypse. moans, groans, sniffles and hacks. what’s worse, the ocean going nuts outside because of a hurricane, or the dribbly-nosed zombies in the only place considered safe from the elements?]

...after all that, is this place haunted or something...? E-eh --

You guys might want to stand back--

[...was that your burrito of death our triumphant trio has just trampled, like those wildebeests over mufasa? remember... remember...]

Comments

[alienates]

[ karkat just opens his mouth and points at his teeth

they are also pointy?? ]

[gnasher]

[THIS IS DUMB!!!!]

Oi -- [oi what??? for the first time in his life, someone else has the same teeth as him, but they're a different species or something??]

They're my normal -- I don't have to talk about this!

[alienates]

Alright but just be aware that whenever you're ready to face this part of yourself, I am here.

[ karkat helpfully pats rin on the arm.

there there, you abominable weird human-troll mixture. karkat will support you during your existential crisis. ]

♪ you'll be in my heart ♪

[gnasher]

[holy fucking shit]

[s n a p s his horrible beartrap mouth shut]

Y-yeah, thanks.

♪ no matter what they say ♪

[gnasher]

[just think, if you became a parent with Dave, you'd have maladjusted troll-human children just as dysfunctional as Rin. the miracle of life, mazel tov]

Can we get back to the -- point, oi?

[no, he didn't stumble over the word "point," what are you talking about]

*dramatic phil collins echoing voice* always

[alienates]

[ they can just adopt rin. they will raise him v well or terribly, either one.

it takes karkat a few seconds to remember what the point even was. ]

Previously everyone who arrived came in large groups, all from different places with varying memories as to why they were here. The last few new arrivals all showed up by themselves and in very stupid ways. Not as stupid as your entrance, but close enough. Since you all showed up together I was wondering if you knew each other already or not.

[gnasher]

[you're going to fuck up a perfectly good monkey]

[ok first off]

Our entrance wasn't stupid, we almost died, because somebody was shooting youtube videos.

[...]

What did you think you were coming here for?

[alienates]

[ now that karkat thinks about it, a lot of them.... almost died getting here... huh, that is an unfortunate trend.

karkat glances at d.va at rin's accusation. damn is she just gonna let him talk about her like that?? ]

Oh. We thought this was the new universe we created after we beat the game we were playing. I mean, technically that could still be the case, but too much shit doesn't make sense. Or makes less sense than the usual nonsense we deal with.

[ yup. ]

[gnasher]

Wait, like -- sorry, did you just say you were "creating a universe," like gods, or something?

[he's already had to accommodate aliens into his world view, universe creation is the next logical step]

[just kidding nothing is logical and his brain is already screaming]

[alienates]

Ugghhhh, no.

[ karkat sounds a little annoyed at this, it is slightly a sore spot. ]

I never made god tier. Dave, John, and the rest of their merry crew of pajama fucking assholes all are though. But yeah I guess you can compare our role to your view of deities with the whole creating a whole new realm of existence and life and all of that bullshit. This would actually be the second one I made.

[ y u p. ]

[uncorrupts]

[this conversation has gone down to some very confusing places]

[gnasher]

[he wants to ask "what happened to the first one" but somehow intuits (maybe from how annoyed Karkat is already) that this is a Bad Idea]

[instead;]

I'm not really sure what "god tier" is, or what it has to do with pajamas, but if you were doing shit like making worlds, that's pretty god tier to me.

[is this a compliment or a fact?? is he being nice? who knows ???]

But the short of it is, you don't know how the hell you ended up here, either.

[alienates]

[ ... oh. karkat accepts it as a compliment. look people rarely compliment him here so he is going to take what he can get???

anyway. ]

Basically. We're supposed to be terraforming the planet to make it actually habitable or something, but... Honestly I have no fucking idea if anyone has even started on that yet?

[ seriously what do they even do here besides larping as lotr characters and throwing things into volcanos?? nobody knows. ]

[gnasher]

[a little unimpressed. where's the game plan? this place is going to hell in a handbasket, and there's no clear mission?]

-- Who's in charge?

[no doubt a favourite question]

[alienates]

No one. [ it's said pretty bluntly, like he can't really believe rin didn't pick up on that from the beginning. ]

The base is URSULA's and she sometimes suggests shit for us to do, but there isn't a leader or anything. Good fucking luck to anyone who tries to wrangle this mess into something cohesive.

[gnasher]

I guess I should have figured that out, when the sick guy that came to greet us first was wearing poofy magenta shorts and sunglasses indoors.

[grumpy red leader meet... less grumpy red leader]

We don't need a leader, but we do need organization. People work best together in teams, with a mission. I think we should find all the new people who aren't sick yet, and the guys like you that missed it, and make a real strategy to get things back to normal.

[people snoozing in halls, water everywhere, random people wandering around with help, no systems in sight -- there's too much chaos, a control freak like Rin thinks]

[alienates]

[ karkat actually almost bursts out laughing at that description of dirk but he manages to control it. he isn't sure if he should tell rin that dirk looks like that even when he isn't sick but. nah.

also the thing is... karkat 100% agrees with absolutely everything rin is saying. he just refuses to take up anything resembling a leadership role since he's convinced he will Fuck It All Up. but there is a small problem with rin's plan. ]

You are underestimating how obnoxiously stubborn a lot of the infected crew members are. Just getting some of them to even admit that they're sick took a few days. [ once again: dirk. ] Honestly the hurricane is what really fucked us over. We probably could have had everything fixed by now if we were able to actually go outside and get more supplies.

[gnasher]

Stubborn guys are my specialty.

[that sounded a little homoerotic, sure. obliviously moving on]

Do we have any tech tracking the storm? It'd probably help out with morale and planning if we knew when the hell this shit would blow through.

[hesitates, because he's actually lost someone very important to a storm before, then adds]

Also, the guys I arrived with are both amazing pilots, who handled that storm really well when we were stuck in it. It's needlessly reckless to send them back out at this point, but I bet they would go out for supplies successfully if we really needed them.

[because if it's between doing something reckless and helpful and letting things get worse, there's only one right thing to do -- and he's already seen how amazing both D.Va and Shiro were in action]

[alienates]

[ karkat categorizes rin as one of the infamous "homosexuals" that he has heard so much about. ]

URSULA is keeping an eye on it for us. She's the reason we even knew it was coming. [ and they actually prepared for the storm which is pretty impressive considering it took them four months to build more than one toilet. ]

We can set that as a backup plan, but if it gets bad enough that we have to actually send them out then I went you to personally knock me the fuck out so I won't have to deal with that level of fuckery.

[goafk]

Hey!! We didn't almost die, get over yourself, Drama King!

[ RUDE!!! ]

[gnasher]

Haah? What the hell do you call suddenly traveling through a turbulent underwater storm across an unknown seascape full of weird shit in it, while some weirdo keeps telling people to subscribe!

[spoilers: they're both dramatic]

[goafk]

An adventure! Duh.

[ both dramatic......maybe a little dumb............. ]

[gnasher]

[AGGRESSIVELY IGNORES]

[goafk]

[ MAD BRUH? ]

[uncorrupts]

[sighs]