JELLY SHROOM CAVE BASE EXPLORATION | ACTION

[imsorey]

[In the early morning, just after breakfast is cleaned up, Sorey sends a telepathic broadcast to whoever is still currently hanging around the base:

Hey everyone! We found a strange cave way down deep in the tunnels a couple of weeks ago, and the fish down there told us there were humans living down there somehow! We’re going to check it out today. You’re welcome to come with, but bring some kind of shielding, all right? There’s a whole bunch of Tiger Plants on the route, and those spikes they shoot are no joke!

Mikleo chimes in: If you have swimming troubles, I should be able to take you around, though a couple of you might want to bring Seaglides as well. We mapped out a partial safe route, but keep in mind there’s some very large predators, and the water pressure’s going to be pretty intense if you move too far from us down there. Come prepared for that.

Should you as an intrepid explorer decide to venture down into the tunnels with them, there’s plenty to see. Glowing Jelly Shrooms are scattered across the caves, the only bit of light offered so far down in the dark. Sorey and Mikleo will lead the group in a careful circuit through them, not going too close. It’s easy to see why when a couple of Crabsnakes poke their heads out curiously.

The abandoned base the group will come across is small but has some useful items if you care to take a look. There’s also a dully glowing three-person Seamoth to be discovered not too far away, out of power, if any technologically-inclined people want to figure out how to get that back to base for use.

((OOC: Open mission post for Jelly Shroom Base Exploration! Sorey and Mikleo will tag whoever tags in, but feel free to jump other people as well and branch your explorations out separately if you’d like. There’s a lot to find!))

Comments

[splinten]

I taught my damn self.

[He warned Dave. Now he is going for the subaqueous noogie session.]

[parodeity]

[ well, he can. try. dave is a cheater, though, and apparently he's choosing to give dirk a hard time about this one particular thing. because teasing is one of the varieties of affection dave is actually good with.

"cheating" in this scenario means when dirk goes in to get at dave's head a second pair of hands hauls him backwards to give dave exactly the time required to disappear and become himself getting behind dirk and then watching himself fuck with time in exactly the same way.

you could...start cheating at a lower level than that, dave.

like maybe a beginner's course? ]

That wasn't "please", dude.

[ also he's putting distance between them because just say please dirk ]

[splinten]

[Hands what the—Dirk turns around and he realizes what is happening.]

You are the highest caliber of shit that can be produced from the ecologically unbalanced gastrointestinal systems of a pure McDonalds diet.

[Now Dirk is determined. The picture is no longer important. He has to figure out how to outwit stable timeloops. Once he gets a hold on Dave's torso, he's pretty sure he can make it game over. He just has to get that far.

Dirk moves again. Except the obvious "Dirk" that goes for Dave is just an afterimage. So is the one that comes at Dave from the side.

The real Dirk goes for Dave's feet to try to yank him downwards and into his arms.]

[parodeity]

Not my fault you weren't prepped for that shit.

[ dave doesn't seem remotely as determined because he's almost casually giving dirk a hard time here about...apparently playing keep-away? sure. that seems fun. he makes his plans on the fly, always, but it's occurred to him more than a few times that even if he can't do unstable loops (wouldn't for this lowkey shit anyway, dead daves are the enemy) there are some very interesting ways to abuse stable timeloops here.

like.

even more so than at home.

because here? dave can talk to himself without anyone else tuning in. there's no need to be in his own line of sight to use hand signals or body language to clue himself in on shit. he can talk directly into his own mind and no one else will ever know.

so the dave who is stationed out of his own eyesight and out of attack range but who is specifically there to give him a full view of the battlefield (himself, after this is done) simply says Below and dave reacts to the actual dirk. he hadn't flinched at the afterimages though he'd tensed up - not in the sense that he was upset, but in the sense that he was trying to figure out where the attack was going to come from so he could avoid it.

he's probably not very upset since dave is just.

laughing...as he uses a one-dave-army advantage to dodge and tap dirk's arm before jetting off. he's going to keep using his own future intel here? so you're going to have to out cheat the worst human-kid cheater here, or figure out a way to stop dave cheating to start with.

or just like

get him to stop dicking around, that is also an option ]

Tag, you're it.

[ considering the amount of amused taunting dave just loaded that with, dirk is probably not going to call it quits though. ]

[splinten]

[Holy. Fucking. Shit. Dirk doesn't even know how Dave managed to cheat that time and it's fucking him up. Dirk stays still in the water, floating there. His hair undulates with the jelly shrooms, catching the purple glow as he jets away.

For a long time, Dirk stays very still. He doesn't move, not to follow, not to plan anything at all. He just stays in the water, silent.

And then:]

Good choice on the shades. The selfie wouldn't work if you'd kept them on.

[You know what Dirk remembered while he was hovering in the water trying to work out how to defeat the world's worst cheater?

He has wireless access to all of Dave's tech.]

[parodeity]

[ rude. dave rarely ever even thinks about the fact he's handed over anything technological to dirk at one point or another, for upgrades or waterproofing or just because dirk asked and dave didn't really give a fuck. there's very little on his devices he cares about other people finding. if he doesn't want dirk or roxy to get into something it's not like locking it or password protecting it would do much so he just kind of labels it along the lines of "yo leave this alone" and calls them out in the filename?

he'd only titled the selfie "saveforjade". there is actually a lot of shit along those lines. dave's filing system is sort of haphazard but it works?

he snorts. ]

So you're admittin' you'd lose this game of tag, I'll take the win.

[ losing has never bothered dave overmuch but he's pretty sure forcing dirk to choose the worst cheating option means he won, somehow. ]

[splinten]

Bromrade, it ain't losing if you get what you were going for.

[Yeah Dirk isn't that bothered by this. He assessed his opponent's skillset, acknowledged where he was outplayed, and pursued the path that played to his talents. He is in fact pretty pleased with himself for ignoring his own pride and cutting through the bullshit by operating on another plane. He is getting better at cheating every day!

Thanks, Dave.]

[parodeity]

Yeah, don't do that to other people, though.

[ THEY'D BE MORE FURIOUS? dave can't work up the actual antagonism to be anything above "mildly irked" though. ]

But it's def losin' since you couldn't tag me back, duh. What do you have against asking me nicely for something, anyway?

[splinten]

[There is a shades-hidden eyeroll. 'Don't hack other people.' Yes, Dave, he fucking knows.]

Other people don't abuse time travel to cheat. We weren't playing tag, dude. We were playing keep-away.

[And Dave is a dirty cheater and must be stopped at all costs. Honestly. Dave should be worried about the bad things that Dirk is learning from him?]

I don't have anything against it in theory. In practice, I eventually concluded that I wouldn't ask you nicely for the well-reasoned conclusion that I didn't want to.

[parodeity]

[ ok but do you really know, dirk, sometimes dave is pretty sure you're worse at boundaries than he is!!! and dave would worry if he...didn't think surviving was more important than playing fair? but as it is he has never seen the benefit of playing fair.

you only get beat down by playing fair. ]

I was playin' tag, I even said tag. But that figures. I don't think you've ever said please to me once. Karkat never does either.

[ everyone he knows is a rude fuck -

no, dave pauses. ]

Scratch that. You have said please before.

[splinten]

I say 'please' with appropriate frequency.

[He is actually usually not too badly mannered? Verbally, at least. He generally asks for things indirectly which is why it isn't always obvious but he really has no problem with 'please' and 'thank you.' He is pretty sure he has said both to most of his friends.]

I'd estimate with reasonable certainty that I say it more frequently than you do.

[parodeity]

You do.

[ dave has zero problems copping to that? ]

I try not to ask people for shit to start with, though?

[splinten]

I've noticed.

[He slings his arm over Dave's shoulder.]

I fortunately was raised on the scraps of civilization and can't particularly call you on your barbarianism.

[parodeity]

[ luckily dave doesn't pull another fast one so??? i guess the tag game is over. ]

Are you gonna make it your wallpaper.

[splinten]

[Dave thinks tag is over but Dirk just changed that arm into a headlock and gives Dave a solid noogie.]

Tag.

[Dave encouraged this. But he relaxes in a moment because he is done being awful now, apparently.]

No? That would break Magic Mike's heart.</>

[...Yeah Dirk's wallpapers are just different pictures of stupid things Dave sends him. HE CAN TRY TO LEARN FOUL PLAY but he's a ridiculous sucker for Dave always.]

[parodeity]

[ ok but now dave isn't done and he promptly does the same thing back to dirk???? this is an endless feedback loop.

though he breaks into one of his small smiles at the comment re: magic mike. ]

Magic Mike is the most photogenic stalker in the world, I'm p sure?

[splinten]

[NO? NOOGIES ARE NOT ALLOWED FOR HAIR LIKE THIS not that... it actually does anything they're underwater and that hair is magic but still.

honestly it's stupid how happy stupidity like this makes dirk. they're real brothers! real brothers who get into stupid things!]

I didn't know you picked favourites.

[Of the Stalkers.]

[parodeity]

Bein' the most photogenic does not mean he's my fave, bro. Everyone's the best at somethin', supposedly.

[ also fuck you he will mess up your hair underwater if he wants to younger brothers are allowed to be problem children????? ]

[splinten]

The latter claim of those two is total bullshit.

[Not everyone is the best at someone. This is late 20th century consumer culture claptrap filling the proletariat with a sense of complacency while they are robbed more and more of what little power they had managed to claim for themselves.]

[parodeity]

Yeah, I know.

[ he grew up with zero self confidence, for all that he faked it. ]

But the Stalkers def all have their good points. Like, Stevie Wonder brings me all the shiniest shit?

[splinten]

He also doesn't know the strength of his own nose bumps.

[Don't be surprised that Dirk has memorized Dave's dumb names for these things.]

[parodeity]

[ no one else will ever take the time to do so...at least dirk gets it. ]

I forgive him because he finds awesome shit. When are you gonna make an animal friend that ain't soulless?

[splinten]

[He assumes Dave means the Light Frogs, but Dirk isn't their friend? Dirk doesn't even like them much.]

Dude. I'm the Magister's friend.

[He has fallen hard for that dumb Cute Fish it's sad.]

[parodeity]

You're his family.

[ but yeah he can't argue that's a different category since rose...is one of dave's best friends... ]

I bet you're waiting for like, the scariest animal in the world to pop up.

[splinten]

We've already met Cthulbro, heard he has an evil twin brother Cthulfoe, and regularly dealt with Reapers. Also Angel Wings, who are jackasses.

[And he has made friends with none of them.]