THE AURORA was once a sight to see. An impressive mining ship, home to many, it could travel across great interstellar distances while providing all the comforts necessary to those within. Its star-sailing days are over now, as it now is a terrible wreckage, with salvage and dangers for those who come near.
It’s also exactly where the new crew members just showed up. URSULA will be immediately sending the on-base crew towards the Aurora, while those who have just arrived have some time to explore. The Aurora, however, isn’t the safest place to be. There are some large creatures in the water, and they may not be friendly towards the crew…
Below is a timeline of events as they unfold, with some further information!
1000: THE AURORA
While the new crew may have arrived anywhere throughout the ship, many will have found themselves in the common rooms, surrounded by the comforts of those who once lived here. Those who choose to wander further may find many rooms throughout, often in varying states of decay. While there are smaller predators on the Aurora and the danger of a wrecked vessel, an unsettling peace pervades the crashed ship. For now, they are safe.
1030: THE BASE
At 10:30 in the morning, URSULA reaches out to all crew members with an urgent message:
”All crew members please report in immediately! Life signs detected on the Aurora! Please stop all other activities and begin rescue mission. Gather any supplies you need, use the vehicles and help any survivors you find. Devices are near the entrance to track life signals once you're on the Aurora. If they're safe, please remember we need to salvage what we can from the Aurora as well. The supplies will benefit any survivors as well.”
Get cracking, crew! Base and Biome have information on what kind of weapons and defenses your fellow crew have had.
1100: THE AURORA
Thanks to the transportation they had built, the base’s crew is able to arrive in record time. They can help seek out their new crew members, take the opportunity to explore more of the Aurora, or just sulk in the transporter. URSULA reminds everyone that salvaging is a key part of their mission, and they should gather what they can before returning to base.
1200: THE AURORA
The crew however only gets an hour to enjoy itself (?) in the wreckage. At noon, URSULA broadcasts to all present, new and old:
”Attention! Dire warning! Reaper Leviathans! According to what I've salvaged of my database, they're apex predators from the westernmost region of the ocean. One signal coming from the west, two others coming out of the Void from deep below the ship!”
The crew may try to evacuate, but it is probably better to prepare for battle or hiding instead. They won’t get enough time to get out of the way before…
1210: THE AURORA
The Reapers are here. Peering out one of the Aurora's entrances will reveal that they are already circling around the vessel, as if they realize something is inside. One even beaches, its entire, 160 foot body soaring through the air before slamming down into the water. It almost feels like a warning. A threat.
URSULA urges the crew to stay inside where it is safe, but if anyone does insist on charging forward, she advises them to split into teams and take on as many Reapers at once as possible to avoid any group being teamed-up on by multiple Leviathans.
NOTE: To fight a Reaper Leviathan, comment under the REAPER FIGHT THREAD comment below! We ask that you work in teams of two or three for the battle to keep threads organized and minimize the number of fight threads the mods will need to work through. Be mindful that these are extremely fierce, dangerous, fast, giant apex predators, and they are very likely to do damage against those who fight them! By tagging in, you are agreeing to put your characters at risk of injury from the Reapers. As URSULA advised, those who don't want to get hurt should hold back and wait.
1300: EVACUATION
Things are looking grim. While the crew's teams make a good fight of it, these Reapers are durable, and they just keep coming back for more. It seems they're on a mission, to stop the crew, no matter how battered they become.
That's when the bellowing starts. Coming from everywhere, a song like that of the cavalry that disorients the Reapers as a large pod of Reefbacks swim in. Several put themselves between the ship and the Reapers, allowing anyone on aboard to safely get into the transports and into the water.
Others begin to fight. The use the concentrated power of their songs to knock back attacks from the front, powerfully lashing their tentacles like whips to crack against the Reapers. In battle they're surprisingly agile, able to spin around in a moment's notice to alternate between confusing and attacking the Reapers.
But any crew members watching can see the toll it takes on the Reefbacks. One Reefback in particular chooses to guide the crew back to the base by swimming along aside them. Thick, dark blood trails in the water behind it but it beats off any curious smaller predators like Stalkers. But its shell is cracked, its 'face' smashed in, and it gets no further than the Kelp Forest before it settles into a dense patch of creepvines for a final rest. It sends out a final cry that somehow feels like a wish for the crew to keep going on to the base, away from the continuing battle.
The rest of the pod manages to drive the Reapers back, though they too have their casualties. Still, the Aurora and the crew are safe for now.
Perhaps that was their only wish.
Direct any questions and plotting to the OOC post and have fun!
Don't worry about that, Ro-Lal. [He almost wants to give her an extra hug, or at least he thinks maybe he should?? but then she's searching for Octodad so he guesses that's what they're doing now? Why is this hard.
He drops down to the game pile and starts digging through the assorted titles. There has to be Octodad. He believes in the Octopus Parent!
He kinda wants to try to say some of the things he asked Jane to say to her but now he feels really nervous about saying any of it so he just. He just won't? Yes. Okay. He can say it later. He doesn't know. The opportunity feels gone.
Wait.]
I found Mario Party.
[He holds it out to her.] We're gonna ruin our friendship, Rox. We're gonna ruin every friendship. [THE ULTIMATE DESTROYER OF BONDS, HERE THEY COME.]
Roxy frowns. It's true that things are awkward between them at the moment, and she's just glad they can still pal around like this, but... She knows she really blew it back there with the damn suckers and forcing herself on him and insisting he have her BOIBIES. Being a Trickster completely stripped her of her inhibitions in more ways than one. She can't believe how utterly weak and pathetic she was in that state.
Even if he doesn't reciprocate her feelings, she's still obviously someone he cares for on a platonic level, and she has no idea why. Especially after she showed her ass and humiliated herself. She broke her abstinence from alcohol, as well. How do you even begin apologizing for something like that? Roxy wants to say something to him about it, but the moment never seems right. Talking about heavy shit was so much easier when she was drunk...
Suddenly, Roxy's mouth feels incredibly dry, her hands sweaty and shaky, and she catches herself staring at the puddle on the floor. How pathetic is it that she suddenly wants to lick it up off of the floor. ]
Ya'd think we've had our fill of screwin' friendships up by now.
[ She takes the game cartridge from him. ]
I know you're jokin' n' the game's probs hella fun, but the last thing we need right now is to be at each others' throats over another dumb video game...
[Oh. Yeah, okay, shit. That was a foot in mouth moment there. His expression doesn't exactly fall (you need more facial expressiveness for that) but it does soften a little.
He lifts his hand, hesitant. Then shifts it to grab the hand holding the game cartridge.]
You couldn't ruin our friendship if you tried. You know that, right? I don't want to get too heavy on you or anything, but shit, you know there's no way I'd ever turn my back on you. Not even over Mario Party. You're one of my favorite people.
[ Roxy looks down at their hands, listening intently, a tiny smile crossing her face when he says she's one of his favorites. She still doesn't know what he sees in her, but she appreciates the assurance regardless. ]
...
[ She decides she needs more than hand-holding, and wraps him up in her arms instead. ]
I feel like shit, Dirk. I got scared when I realized you were here. I didn't think you'd want anything to do with me, but then ya did.
[ And when you wear your heart on your sleeve, it's only a matter of time until the negative feelings begin to show themselves. But unlike other negative feelings, she knows that she has to face these ones. Can't just beat them down and internalize them like the others. Can't numb them with alcohol anymore either, which is probably what is making this harder than it needs to be. ]
I know this is the last thing you wanna hear but I need a fuckin' drink.
[At least she smiles a little? There's a little sinking in his heart as he hears her words. He decides the best thing to do is yank her over and give her a pat.
And then take some Fanta out of his sylladex and hold it out to her.]
[ Roxy gives him a deadpanned stare. You've got to be kidding, right. She doesn't even know how to respond to being handed a soda when what she desperately needs is something 151 proof. ]
Is this a joke?
[ She has half a mind to throw the damn soda at his head, because that wasn't funny. ]
[ Roxy sighs and, against her better judgement, opens the soda and takes a big swig. She looks at him pointedly, as if to say "are you happy now"? and slams the drink down on the table. ]
Thanks. [ She says sarcastically, though she actually means it deep down. He's just looking out for her and she knows that. Doesn't make her want a hard drink any less, but it does help to distract her.
Feeling guilty, she adds: ] ... I mean it. I know you're just lookin' out for my best interests n' shit like you always do. And, y'know, I'm sorry for what went down back in the Medium. That whole kerfluffle was such a goddamn clusterfuck, shit.
[He flashsteps over for the important purpose of making sure that the orange soda is properly capped before it is slammed. You can't let perfectly good soda spill everywhere.
As he does so, he considers what to say and how he could say it. It isn't easy. For Roxy, he wants to try his hardest.]
We were pretty much an unmitigated disaster of a session from start to finish, both with respect to the technical aspects of our game and the more metaphysical elements that Sburb is supposed to invoke in its players. It's one reason you were such a godsend to us all.
[He glances at her over his shoulder. He almost smiles.] Thanks for trying to keep us all together.
[ Roxy is prepared to be scolded. She is prepared to be chastised for falling off of the wagon in the Medium. She is prepared to be reminded yet again how she and Dirk will never be a thing. Moreover, she is prepared for him to be disappointed again.
What she is not prepared for, however, is praise. ]
Me? But you were the only reasonable one at the time. The ironic straight-man of the group settin' alla us stone-cold retarded idiots straight. You were that the whole time actually. Well, not exactly straight, but you know what I'm gettin' at.
I've always been too drunk or lovesick to be of much use to you. Any a' you.
[That's so wrong he could almost laugh. He drops onto the couch, his arm over the back to indicate hey, Rox, you sure could sit beside him if you wanted?]
There isn't shit that's ironic about having too dense a fuckin' think pan to get magically high when you really want to. It's just pathetic and laughable. I don't hold anything that happened in Trickster mode against you. You were high on magic juju, you made some mistakes, you got the shitty hangover and regrets. Like the rest of us.
[ ... She can't stay mad at him. She just can't. And she definitely can't turn down what she perceives as a silent invitation for cuddles.
Awww, c'mere, you big squishy d-bag. Roxy plops down next to him and practically drapes herself across him. If you listen closely, you might even hear her purr. ]
I... guess. I mean, I dunno... Can't a girl just feel bad about gettin' cotton candy hair, fallin' off the wagon, and gettin' four-way married with her besties? Or are you gonna be a total wet blanket and not let me mope about anything? You gotta stop puttin' me up here on this shitty pedestal, broseph, I'm just gonna get plastered n' fall off of it again.
Edited (i keep forgetting to roxify her dialog. why must you talk like a modern valley girl, roxy. why.) 2016-05-06 09:38 (UTC)
[Okay, he didn't mean 'cuddles' in exactly the Roxy sense of it, but he really should have predicted that an invitation for Comforting Physical Proximity would have turned into this. He stiffens up for a second (he does still have some trouble with this stuff) but then he returns the gesture with an arm around her shoulders.]
What can I say? When it comes to flat warmth-keeping woven squares, I'm the wettest there is.
I wasn't the help I should've been in the Medium, but that isn't playing here. This time, I'm going to be there to pick you back up every time.
[He wants to give her a kiss on the head, but he's still worried about what is between them. He knows you can't just throw your feelings away. Desire doesn't disappear overnight. You don't get a choice in any of it. Dirk loves Roxy with all his heart, but not the way she wanted him to, and now that they're in person, it's so much harder to know how to draw lines.
In the end, he settles with giving her a little squeeze.]
Sorry, Roxy. You're stuck with this. I'm really proud of you, and there is no way out of that.
[ Roxy just balks at him, wondering to herself if he hit his head upon his arrival at ocean planet. The holding and the squeezing is nice, but the words... she has no idea what he's getting at. Nothing she did should make anyone proud, ever, especially not Dirk. Not after she made a goddamn fool of herself. ]
... You on somethin'? Do we gotta have an intervention? 'Cause I don't think you're in your right mind, bro.
[ She sits up, effectively withdrawing from him. If he's doing this because he's proud of her, then she can't accept his affection. ]
I haven't done a goddamn thing to be proud of and you know it.
Well duh. Or didja already forget about me fallin' off the wagon and trying to kiss n' marry you? 'Cause that's still a thing I did, n' if I recall you were pretty fuckin' disappointed in me at the time.
[ She looks down at her hands, which are winging the hem of her shirt. ]
[Right. That. He remembers what Jane said about it.
He gives a little pat on the back of the couch. Maybe come back to cuddle times, Roxy? Either way, he'll say his bit.]
Sure, I was upset you fell off the sober pony. And yeah, I wasn't that eager about the whole polygamy thing we were going for there. But so what? You were drugged up on alien juju. You were an idiot of a technicolor nightmare. It was a mistake that you know is a mistake.
I'm not disappointed in you, and I'm sure as fuck not mad at you. I'm proud of you for getting on the horse in the first place, and I'm hella proud that you're pulling yourself back on. Seeing what's wrong and straight up trying to fix it? That ain't an easy course.
[ Dirk is absolutely right. It's not easy, and having someone understand that? It means the world to her. Her eyes well up with tears and she accepts his invitation, only she does him one better than simply cuddling him-- she wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him in for a tight hug. ]
No, it ain't. Is it weird that I'm happy you recognize that? Ha ha. You guys were always so nonchalant 'bout my drinking... not that I didn't think ya guys cared? It was a shitty thing to force you guys to deal with in the first place. I never expected anyone to fly to my rescue, I mean. Wasn't your responsibility, yanno?
[ Squeeze. ] But you guys were worried about me all along, n' I feel like a real shitheel 'cause of it... I'm so sorry for doin' that to you, Dirk. You've always had my back, even when I was annoyin' you with my drunken flirting...
[ And speaking of which, her feelings, while not reciprocated, are difficult to ignore even now. Especially now, and she's suddenly self-conscious about her heart beating so rapidly in her chest. Can he feel it? Can he feel the hot blush on her face from being so close to him?
[Oh there go the Roxy hugs. There is no escaping them now. He does his best to hug her back, in that awkward way of his. To give her at least a fraction of the love and support he knows she deserves.]
Of course I was worried. I was also being an asshole by just berating you instead of actually helping you out with it. It isn't a mistake I'm planning on repeating. [He gives her a squeeze back. And for all of his awkwardness when it comes to things like this, it feels nice to be with her.] Just let me know what I can do to be there for you.
[He doesn't miss the blush. But he doesn't know how to bring it up. In a lot of ways, he still doesn't know how to talk to Roxy about that. It's really hard to say, "I'm sorry I can't have weirdo babies with you because I think you deserve everything you want, but hey, at least we have ectokids now." There are just no ways he can think to phrase any of that to make it come out right.]
[ Roxy came to the conclusion a long time ago that they weren't as "meant to be" as she once dreamed. That didn't help assuage her feelings for him any, but it was a step forward in the right direction. She knows he can't help his sexuality any more than she can help hers, not to mention her feelings for him, and she thinks he knows that too?
Being this close to Dirk is actually cathartic. Her romantic feelings aside, she can appreciate platonic affection from him, more than satisfied knowing he feels love for her in some capacity. He doesn't have to say he loves her, either-- she just knows. You don't stick by a doofus like her unconditionally without feeling strongly one way or the other. And she knows how Dirk acts around people he doesn't like, what with his tendencies to decapitate enemies with his shitty manime sword. ]
You're already doin' it... [ She pulls away a few inches so her lips can reach his forehead, where she delivers a tiny peck. Kiss! ♥ ]
I know you probs got the wrong idea when I was hopped up on alla that juju, but you're my friend, okay? Like. I know you can't help how you feel n' I'm totes cool with that, brah. I just...
[ She buries her face in his shirt. Why are feelings so hard. ]
I just want ya ta know that I'm happy just havin' you in my life. Like this. Like, yanno, as a bro, and not like... how I thought we were meant to be together.
A forehead kiss! He blinks stupidly at it, only recovering when she goes for a face-burying. That, at least, he can work out: answer it by stroking her hair. Keeping her close to him. He stops himself, just barely, from pressing his face into her hair. Right now, that feels like it would be pushing it.]
You're the best brosis a guy could ask for, Rox.
[He could never pick one of his friends over any of the others, but there is something binding in what he and Roxy went through together. Living all those years after everything, having that understanding. Sharing the loss of their world, their culture, their family. Dirk wonders if making Roxy keep quiet about it for all those years with Jane and Jake was a mistake, if maybe Jane would've believed them easier if she'd heard earlier (he doesn't think so, but maybe—), if at least it might've helped Roxy to talk about it more.
All those years he spent watching over her on Derse... Getting stupidly exasperated whenever she went rogue, which was all the time. But really, he didn't mind. He liked being the one to bring her home.]
I'm glad I have you here with me.
[He can't imagine anywhere being 'home' without Roxy there.]
[ Roxy cannot contain her affections. They are wild and untamed, and suppressing them would utterly destroy her. And it's not just overcompensation on her part-- as someone who drowns out her demons with booze-- but simply a matter of who she is at her very core.
Though, she most certainly does overcompensate from time to time. Some things are just too difficult to deal with and, unfortunately, her feelings for Dirk happen to be one of those things. He does the right thing when he decides against pressing his face into her hair. The simple act of him stroking her hair is enough to stir up feelings from the bottom of her well of emotions, which have been suppressed so much they are nothing but sediment at the bottom. Sediment sentiment, stirred to the top by his affections.
You see, giving affection is one thing, receiving it is another. She knows better, though. She won't misinterpret it, no matter how hopeful she'd been in the past that he'd wake up one day and change his mind about them. Nope. Noooope. Will not be going there right now or ever again, thank you very much?
Roxy pulls away, but she does not leave him completely, even if being close to him kills her sometimes. Regardless, she takes his hand and laces their fingers together. ]
That mean you're gonna stick around n' help me raise these damn ectokids?
[ She smiles despite herself. ]
Looks like we gonna have us some boibies to raise together after all, and on fish planet to boot.
[They can form a club. Dumb Kids Who Have A Hard Time Getting Over Feelings That They Know Need To Stop. Sure, it could be awkward, but maybe they could invite Jane. At which point it'd feel bad not to invite Jake in, but Jake has never been the one suffering from rampant unrequited affections here. The other three had enough of that to leave Jake room for a huge deficit.
Okay, feelings might not work that way. But shh.
When she says boibies, he gives her the fondest, most exasperated sigh.]
Amazing. Look at us doing our postapocalyptic duty by the human race. We're the heroes of humanity.
Damn right, bruh. Even if it's not the way I imagined things turnin' out for us, I'm like, totes glad I got you here by my side. Now let's forget everything we just talked about, 'specially that part where you're proud a me n' shit.
[ She doesn't want him to think she's ungrateful, though? While she still doesn't think she did anything deserving of Dirk Strider's accolades, she is nonetheless happy to have him on her side. Maybe she can get through this, after all. ]
Shit's embarrassing like, six ways from Sunday. Besides, you let the word get out I'm a super lame wetblanket like you now, and it'll ruin my street cred.
I won't forget it, but I'll zuipperlips it. [Zuipperlips. Is that it? He has a hard time keeping track of her typos. She'll probably get it anyway.
But he does relax a little. As much as he wants Roxy to know how much he loves and respects her, it's still not the easiest thing, and he's so nervous about saying it in the wrong way. He doesn't want to hurt her with praise. He decides to try to seed it throughout other conversations: consistently, carefully, until she at least believes he believes it.
Nice machination, Strider.
He tilts his head back over the edge of the couch until he's staring at the ceiling.]
Do you need me to catch you up on anything or are you up to date on our current status?
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subnautica2016-05-01 12:35 am
no subject
He drops down to the game pile and starts digging through the assorted titles. There has to be Octodad. He believes in the Octopus Parent!
He kinda wants to try to say some of the things he asked Jane to say to her but now he feels really nervous about saying any of it so he just. He just won't? Yes. Okay. He can say it later. He doesn't know. The opportunity feels gone.
Wait.]
I found Mario Party.
[He holds it out to her.] We're gonna ruin our friendship, Rox. We're gonna ruin every friendship. [THE ULTIMATE DESTROYER OF BONDS, HERE THEY COME.]
no subject
Roxy frowns. It's true that things are awkward between them at the moment, and she's just glad they can still pal around like this, but... She knows she really blew it back there with the damn suckers and forcing herself on him and insisting he have her BOIBIES. Being a Trickster completely stripped her of her inhibitions in more ways than one. She can't believe how utterly weak and pathetic she was in that state.
Even if he doesn't reciprocate her feelings, she's still obviously someone he cares for on a platonic level, and she has no idea why. Especially after she showed her ass and humiliated herself. She broke her abstinence from alcohol, as well. How do you even begin apologizing for something like that? Roxy wants to say something to him about it, but the moment never seems right. Talking about heavy shit was so much easier when she was drunk...
Suddenly, Roxy's mouth feels incredibly dry, her hands sweaty and shaky, and she catches herself staring at the puddle on the floor. How pathetic is it that she suddenly wants to lick it up off of the floor. ]
Ya'd think we've had our fill of screwin' friendships up by now.
[ She takes the game cartridge from him. ]
I know you're jokin' n' the game's probs hella fun, but the last thing we need right now is to be at each others' throats over another dumb video game...
no subject
He lifts his hand, hesitant. Then shifts it to grab the hand holding the game cartridge.]
You couldn't ruin our friendship if you tried. You know that, right? I don't want to get too heavy on you or anything, but shit, you know there's no way I'd ever turn my back on you. Not even over Mario Party. You're one of my favorite people.
no subject
...
[ She decides she needs more than hand-holding, and wraps him up in her arms instead. ]
I feel like shit, Dirk. I got scared when I realized you were here. I didn't think you'd want anything to do with me, but then ya did.
[ And when you wear your heart on your sleeve, it's only a matter of time until the negative feelings begin to show themselves. But unlike other negative feelings, she knows that she has to face these ones. Can't just beat them down and internalize them like the others. Can't numb them with alcohol anymore either, which is probably what is making this harder than it needs to be. ]
I know this is the last thing you wanna hear but I need a fuckin' drink.
no subject
And then take some Fanta out of his sylladex and hold it out to her.]
There you go.
[A drink. For Roxy.
Enjoy.]
no subject
Is this a joke?
[ She has half a mind to throw the damn soda at his head, because that wasn't funny. ]
no subject
Drink it. If you've got a wine glass we can put it in that and pretend it's colored champagne.
[He is not going to help her hunt down alcohol. But he sure is going to support the Hell out of her not drinking until she hates him.]
no subject
Thanks. [ She says sarcastically, though she actually means it deep down. He's just looking out for her and she knows that. Doesn't make her want a hard drink any less, but it does help to distract her.
Feeling guilty, she adds: ] ... I mean it. I know you're just lookin' out for my best interests n' shit like you always do. And, y'know, I'm sorry for what went down back in the Medium. That whole kerfluffle was such a goddamn clusterfuck, shit.
no subject
As he does so, he considers what to say and how he could say it. It isn't easy. For Roxy, he wants to try his hardest.]
We were pretty much an unmitigated disaster of a session from start to finish, both with respect to the technical aspects of our game and the more metaphysical elements that Sburb is supposed to invoke in its players. It's one reason you were such a godsend to us all.
[He glances at her over his shoulder. He almost smiles.] Thanks for trying to keep us all together.
no subject
What she is not prepared for, however, is praise. ]
Me? But you were the only reasonable one at the time. The ironic straight-man of the group settin' alla us stone-cold retarded idiots straight. You were that the whole time actually. Well, not exactly straight, but you know what I'm gettin' at.
I've always been too drunk or lovesick to be of much use to you. Any a' you.
no subject
There isn't shit that's ironic about having too dense a fuckin' think pan to get magically high when you really want to. It's just pathetic and laughable. I don't hold anything that happened in Trickster mode against you. You were high on magic juju, you made some mistakes, you got the shitty hangover and regrets. Like the rest of us.
[Come sit with him Roxyyyy.]
I meant throughout the rest of the game.
no subject
Awww, c'mere, you big squishy d-bag. Roxy plops down next to him and practically drapes herself across him. If you listen closely, you might even hear her purr. ]
I... guess. I mean, I dunno... Can't a girl just feel bad about gettin' cotton candy hair, fallin' off the wagon, and gettin' four-way married with her besties? Or are you gonna be a total wet blanket and not let me mope about anything? You gotta stop puttin' me up here on this shitty pedestal, broseph, I'm just gonna get plastered n' fall off of it again.
no subject
What can I say? When it comes to flat warmth-keeping woven squares, I'm the wettest there is.
I wasn't the help I should've been in the Medium, but that isn't playing here. This time, I'm going to be there to pick you back up every time.
[He wants to give her a kiss on the head, but he's still worried about what is between them. He knows you can't just throw your feelings away. Desire doesn't disappear overnight. You don't get a choice in any of it. Dirk loves Roxy with all his heart, but not the way she wanted him to, and now that they're in person, it's so much harder to know how to draw lines.
In the end, he settles with giving her a little squeeze.]
Sorry, Roxy. You're stuck with this. I'm really proud of you, and there is no way out of that.
no subject
... You on somethin'? Do we gotta have an intervention? 'Cause I don't think you're in your right mind, bro.
[ She sits up, effectively withdrawing from him. If he's doing this because he's proud of her, then she can't accept his affection. ]
I haven't done a goddamn thing to be proud of and you know it.
no subject
[He frowns, but he doesn't drag her back in. For a second he thinks about it, wants to. But he doesn't think that's the right thing to do.]
I can make a list. You might not think it's a good list, but I can give it to you annotated and indexed against dates and times.
Is it that hard to believe I think you're amazing?
no subject
Well duh. Or didja already forget about me fallin' off the wagon and trying to kiss n' marry you? 'Cause that's still a thing I did, n' if I recall you were pretty fuckin' disappointed in me at the time.
[ She looks down at her hands, which are winging the hem of her shirt. ]
Or at least that's what it sounded like to me.
no subject
He gives a little pat on the back of the couch. Maybe come back to cuddle times, Roxy? Either way, he'll say his bit.]
Sure, I was upset you fell off the sober pony. And yeah, I wasn't that eager about the whole polygamy thing we were going for there. But so what? You were drugged up on alien juju. You were an idiot of a technicolor nightmare. It was a mistake that you know is a mistake.
I'm not disappointed in you, and I'm sure as fuck not mad at you. I'm proud of you for getting on the horse in the first place, and I'm hella proud that you're pulling yourself back on. Seeing what's wrong and straight up trying to fix it? That ain't an easy course.
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No, it ain't. Is it weird that I'm happy you recognize that? Ha ha. You guys were always so nonchalant 'bout my drinking... not that I didn't think ya guys cared? It was a shitty thing to force you guys to deal with in the first place. I never expected anyone to fly to my rescue, I mean. Wasn't your responsibility, yanno?
[ Squeeze. ] But you guys were worried about me all along, n' I feel like a real shitheel 'cause of it... I'm so sorry for doin' that to you, Dirk. You've always had my back, even when I was annoyin' you with my drunken flirting...
[ And speaking of which, her feelings, while not reciprocated, are difficult to ignore even now. Especially now, and she's suddenly self-conscious about her heart beating so rapidly in her chest. Can he feel it? Can he feel the hot blush on her face from being so close to him?
God, she's such a tool. ]
i was about to go to sleep but SLAMS THIS DOWN
Of course I was worried. I was also being an asshole by just berating you instead of actually helping you out with it. It isn't a mistake I'm planning on repeating. [He gives her a squeeze back. And for all of his awkwardness when it comes to things like this, it feels nice to be with her.] Just let me know what I can do to be there for you.
[He doesn't miss the blush. But he doesn't know how to bring it up. In a lot of ways, he still doesn't know how to talk to Roxy about that. It's really hard to say, "I'm sorry I can't have weirdo babies with you because I think you deserve everything you want, but hey, at least we have ectokids now." There are just no ways he can think to phrase any of that to make it come out right.]
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Being this close to Dirk is actually cathartic. Her romantic feelings aside, she can appreciate platonic affection from him, more than satisfied knowing he feels love for her in some capacity. He doesn't have to say he loves her, either-- she just knows. You don't stick by a doofus like her unconditionally without feeling strongly one way or the other. And she knows how Dirk acts around people he doesn't like, what with his tendencies to decapitate enemies with his shitty manime sword. ]
You're already doin' it... [ She pulls away a few inches so her lips can reach his forehead, where she delivers a tiny peck. Kiss! ♥ ]
I know you probs got the wrong idea when I was hopped up on alla that juju, but you're my friend, okay? Like. I know you can't help how you feel n' I'm totes cool with that, brah. I just...
[ She buries her face in his shirt. Why are feelings so hard. ]
I just want ya ta know that I'm happy just havin' you in my life. Like this. Like, yanno, as a bro, and not like... how I thought we were meant to be together.
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A forehead kiss! He blinks stupidly at it, only recovering when she goes for a face-burying. That, at least, he can work out: answer it by stroking her hair. Keeping her close to him. He stops himself, just barely, from pressing his face into her hair. Right now, that feels like it would be pushing it.]
You're the best brosis a guy could ask for, Rox.
[He could never pick one of his friends over any of the others, but there is something binding in what he and Roxy went through together. Living all those years after everything, having that understanding. Sharing the loss of their world, their culture, their family. Dirk wonders if making Roxy keep quiet about it for all those years with Jane and Jake was a mistake, if maybe Jane would've believed them easier if she'd heard earlier (he doesn't think so, but maybe—), if at least it might've helped Roxy to talk about it more.
All those years he spent watching over her on Derse... Getting stupidly exasperated whenever she went rogue, which was all the time. But really, he didn't mind. He liked being the one to bring her home.]
I'm glad I have you here with me.
[He can't imagine anywhere being 'home' without Roxy there.]
kill me now
Though, she most certainly does overcompensate from time to time. Some things are just too difficult to deal with and, unfortunately, her feelings for Dirk happen to be one of those things. He does the right thing when he decides against pressing his face into her hair. The simple act of him stroking her hair is enough to stir up feelings from the bottom of her well of emotions, which have been suppressed so much they are nothing but sediment at the bottom. Sediment sentiment, stirred to the top by his affections.
You see, giving affection is one thing, receiving it is another. She knows better, though. She won't misinterpret it, no matter how hopeful she'd been in the past that he'd wake up one day and change his mind about them. Nope. Noooope. Will not be going there right now or ever again, thank you very much?
Roxy pulls away, but she does not leave him completely, even if being close to him kills her sometimes. Regardless, she takes his hand and laces their fingers together. ]
That mean you're gonna stick around n' help me raise these damn ectokids?
[ She smiles despite herself. ]
Looks like we gonna have us some boibies to raise together after all, and on fish planet to boot.
[ OH GOD THE IRONY. ]
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Okay, feelings might not work that way. But shh.
When she says boibies, he gives her the fondest, most exasperated sigh.]
Amazing. Look at us doing our postapocalyptic duty by the human race. We're the heroes of humanity.
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Damn right, bruh. Even if it's not the way I imagined things turnin' out for us, I'm like, totes glad I got you here by my side. Now let's forget everything we just talked about, 'specially that part where you're proud a me n' shit.
[ She doesn't want him to think she's ungrateful, though? While she still doesn't think she did anything deserving of Dirk Strider's accolades, she is nonetheless happy to have him on her side. Maybe she can get through this, after all. ]
Shit's embarrassing like, six ways from Sunday. Besides, you let the word get out I'm a super lame wetblanket like you now, and it'll ruin my street cred.
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But he does relax a little. As much as he wants Roxy to know how much he loves and respects her, it's still not the easiest thing, and he's so nervous about saying it in the wrong way. He doesn't want to hurt her with praise. He decides to try to seed it throughout other conversations: consistently, carefully, until she at least believes he believes it.
Nice machination, Strider.
He tilts his head back over the edge of the couch until he's staring at the ceiling.]
Do you need me to catch you up on anything or are you up to date on our current status?
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tw: alcohol addiction feelings beyond this point, just in case!!
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