THE AURORA was once a sight to see. An impressive mining ship, home to many, it could travel across great interstellar distances while providing all the comforts necessary to those within. Its star-sailing days are over now, as it now is a terrible wreckage, with salvage and dangers for those who come near.
It’s also exactly where the new crew members just showed up. URSULA will be immediately sending the on-base crew towards the Aurora, while those who have just arrived have some time to explore. The Aurora, however, isn’t the safest place to be. There are some large creatures in the water, and they may not be friendly towards the crew…
Below is a timeline of events as they unfold, with some further information!
1000: THE AURORA
While the new crew may have arrived anywhere throughout the ship, many will have found themselves in the common rooms, surrounded by the comforts of those who once lived here. Those who choose to wander further may find many rooms throughout, often in varying states of decay. While there are smaller predators on the Aurora and the danger of a wrecked vessel, an unsettling peace pervades the crashed ship. For now, they are safe.
1030: THE BASE
At 10:30 in the morning, URSULA reaches out to all crew members with an urgent message:
”All crew members please report in immediately! Life signs detected on the Aurora! Please stop all other activities and begin rescue mission. Gather any supplies you need, use the vehicles and help any survivors you find. Devices are near the entrance to track life signals once you're on the Aurora. If they're safe, please remember we need to salvage what we can from the Aurora as well. The supplies will benefit any survivors as well.”
Get cracking, crew! Base and Biome have information on what kind of weapons and defenses your fellow crew have had.
1100: THE AURORA
Thanks to the transportation they had built, the base’s crew is able to arrive in record time. They can help seek out their new crew members, take the opportunity to explore more of the Aurora, or just sulk in the transporter. URSULA reminds everyone that salvaging is a key part of their mission, and they should gather what they can before returning to base.
1200: THE AURORA
The crew however only gets an hour to enjoy itself (?) in the wreckage. At noon, URSULA broadcasts to all present, new and old:
”Attention! Dire warning! Reaper Leviathans! According to what I've salvaged of my database, they're apex predators from the westernmost region of the ocean. One signal coming from the west, two others coming out of the Void from deep below the ship!”
The crew may try to evacuate, but it is probably better to prepare for battle or hiding instead. They won’t get enough time to get out of the way before…
1210: THE AURORA
The Reapers are here. Peering out one of the Aurora's entrances will reveal that they are already circling around the vessel, as if they realize something is inside. One even beaches, its entire, 160 foot body soaring through the air before slamming down into the water. It almost feels like a warning. A threat.
URSULA urges the crew to stay inside where it is safe, but if anyone does insist on charging forward, she advises them to split into teams and take on as many Reapers at once as possible to avoid any group being teamed-up on by multiple Leviathans.
NOTE: To fight a Reaper Leviathan, comment under the REAPER FIGHT THREAD comment below! We ask that you work in teams of two or three for the battle to keep threads organized and minimize the number of fight threads the mods will need to work through. Be mindful that these are extremely fierce, dangerous, fast, giant apex predators, and they are very likely to do damage against those who fight them! By tagging in, you are agreeing to put your characters at risk of injury from the Reapers. As URSULA advised, those who don't want to get hurt should hold back and wait.
1300: EVACUATION
Things are looking grim. While the crew's teams make a good fight of it, these Reapers are durable, and they just keep coming back for more. It seems they're on a mission, to stop the crew, no matter how battered they become.
That's when the bellowing starts. Coming from everywhere, a song like that of the cavalry that disorients the Reapers as a large pod of Reefbacks swim in. Several put themselves between the ship and the Reapers, allowing anyone on aboard to safely get into the transports and into the water.
Others begin to fight. The use the concentrated power of their songs to knock back attacks from the front, powerfully lashing their tentacles like whips to crack against the Reapers. In battle they're surprisingly agile, able to spin around in a moment's notice to alternate between confusing and attacking the Reapers.
But any crew members watching can see the toll it takes on the Reefbacks. One Reefback in particular chooses to guide the crew back to the base by swimming along aside them. Thick, dark blood trails in the water behind it but it beats off any curious smaller predators like Stalkers. But its shell is cracked, its 'face' smashed in, and it gets no further than the Kelp Forest before it settles into a dense patch of creepvines for a final rest. It sends out a final cry that somehow feels like a wish for the crew to keep going on to the base, away from the continuing battle.
The rest of the pod manages to drive the Reapers back, though they too have their casualties. Still, the Aurora and the crew are safe for now.
Perhaps that was their only wish.
Direct any questions and plotting to the OOC post and have fun!
[ Dave isn't expressionless for the moment, if only because he was standing near enough to get hit in the head with one of those orange soda bottles. He'd been turned away looking at something and hadn't expected Dirk to DROP FUCKING EVERYTHING. ]
Wh - OW.
[ At least he didn't get beaned in the head with a grenade, but cue Dave putting a hand to his head and looking over his shoulder at Dirk. His shades have been knocked askew enough to reveal his eyes for the moment. ]
Dude. [ Are you thirteen???????? What was that - oh, orange soda, Dave goes to pick it up but freezes. That sure is a smuppet down there and he half expects 5 zillion more to fall out of the sky. After a pause he picks up the fanta while avoiding the puppet, before straightening back up. ] Yo, are you tryin' to even us up on the head score or what? 'Cause - holy fuck is that a Sord.
[ Whatever aborted decapitation joke he was about to make was probably going to be Too Soon. It's too soon even for Dave but that's hardly ever stopped him from bringing things up before. He got worse on the meteor. There's actual genuine delight at the shitty jpeg sord, though...
There is a vague hint of a wince made visible by the curving of his brows. Sorry for getting you on the head, bro. This turns into some concern as Dave notices the smuppet. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuuuuck.
While Dave examines the Sord, Dirk does a quick flashstep to pick up the smuppet and just shove it right back into the now-empty sylladex. SMUPPET? HAHAH WHAT SMUPPET. Out of sight, out of mind?
To prevent any post-traumatic puppet disorder moments, Dirk zones in on the Sord. Also, because he loves talking about his Bro's work. You chose to open that can of affection, Dave.]
Yeah, it's one of the weird, shitty three dimensional jpeg artefacts you made in my universe, like the Statues of Liberty. They're insanely durable. That one made it through re-entry into our atmosphere after a couple centuries in space.
[ Dirk, did you just force yourself into rhyming with puppets or are you gonna fix that later... ]
Haha, shit, I remember making that. [ In his own session, he means. ] ...We should probably find you a weapon that doesn't fucking suck, cool though it would be to fight with that thing. It's kinda hard to hold, right?
[ He holds out the orange soda DIRK CRUELLY THREW AT HIM (no) to his brother, before kind of. Nudging the Sord with his foot. ]
Also I'm not sure it can even give people paper cuts. Or if it's just capped to nothing worse than that? [ this close to picking it up and testing it on himself... ]
[Sure did. Sure just set up a really fucking difficult rhyme. Sure will need to fix that if he wants to get anything done in his life.
Unlike some iterations of Dirk we could name, Dirk is not okay with Dave playing around with shitty swords. Admittedly, that might be because this particular shitty sword is a Sord and he loves that Sord. Either way, he picks up the Sord before Dave can do something stupid with or to it, and he captchas it.
While holding the orange soda.
Puppets and Sord. Those are the rhymes now. There is absolutely no way he can get rid of the soda in his hand.]
Not that I'm objecting to getting my hands on a weapon that hasn't been cut in half [beautiful unbreakable katana you served him well] I'm kinda more concerned about why we're here and the others aren't? I know our session is all kinds of irregular, but I don't think the game would just scatter us. [You know who has scattered Dirk before? Jade Harley.
He is blaming your dog friend, Dave.]
Does this make sense with anything that happened in your session?
[It's a miracle Dirk hasn't given up on his compulsive need to understand a situation after all this time in Paradox Space.]
[ Dave has just been SO HELPFUL in the past two minutes, forcing Dirk into a useless captcha grid. Thanks, Dave, you're a bro. ]
Man, can we just acknowledge for a second that I have climbed the sword-breaking echeladder to the TOP, though. Your stupid unbreakable shitty sword beat thirteen-year-old Dave, but I got my revenge. ...I mean, sorry about the broken sword and shit but heck yes no sword can stand my stupid sword breaking skills. It's like I caught all the Pokemon, although if it were just like that I guess in about two days there'd be like, five new unbreakable fucking swords I'd have to learn to break and my quest would never end?
[ ..................okay, right, dirk actually was talking about something important and Dave turns his attention to that now that he's rambled about swords.
And shrugs. ]
Dude, did anything in your session make sense? I literally at one point had to get thrown into a pot with onions and soup shit by nakodiles. Because shenanigans. This seems to make about as much sense as any of the other bullshit we've been thrown at.
[ Dave really can't work up to being that concerned about More Paradox Space Bullshit just now, although - ]
I don't like that we're separated from the others just now, but I'm assumin' it's a temporary thing.
[Thanks for keeping focused, Dave. You're really helpful here. Ruining his grid. Talking about Pokemon. Great.]
Congratulations on breaking my sword. [...He thinks? It seems to mean a lot to Dave. So, good for Dave. He will be supportive and brotherly about things that matter to Dave, yeah! ...Even if it's breaking his sword. The important thing is that Dave is happy about it, so Dirk will be happy for him.]
Our session was pretty logical. It was doomed, we ran around attempting to do things in a framework that inherently refused to let anything get done, and then your session crashed into it and we killed all the bad guys so we could win the game.
[Simple. Logical. What was that about retcons and intermissions? Dirk doesn't remember those.]
I guess it's out of our hands, since neither of us have the appropriate powers. [Out of their hands. Out of Dirk's hands. It's out of Dirk's hands and he has to wait for someone else to sort it all out.
No.]
I should organize this shit before I explore this place. I'm pretty sure my sylladex just got ridiculously smaller.
[He's fine. This is fine. Everything is fine. Nothing rhymes with 'puppet' but everything is fine.]
Uh, thanks? [ It's. So weird. To hear any genuine congratulations from Dirk. Well, no, that's false - it's not weird from Dirk (except it is) but it's more weird in that he can't really think of a time he ever got that sort of thing pre-scratch.
Don't think about it, Dave. ]
Also, yo. If you see anything in the game as being logical we need to have a serious discussion about your definition of "logical". Because I'm not sure "logical" and "Sburb" are allowed to be in the same sentence, let alone the same universe.
[ Dave kind of looks to the side, checking his own shit - he had less than ten items on him to start with, and nothing was conflicting, so it didn't eject everything. ]
...Whoa, shit, what the hell, are we thirteen again? I lost like most of my free cards.
[Whenever he gets a reaction like that, Dirk affirms that there is a splinter of him out that that he must never become at all costs. Clearly, he will have to remember to express approval for Dave more! (This is dangerous.)
Before Dirk defends his version of 'logical' with a dictionary definition and a serious overestimation of his ability to actually parse out causality in Paradox Space, Dave makes an observation that coincides with Dirk's problem.
That's weird.]
How many cards do you have left? Because I only have ten on a tech-hop style fetch modus. [He's in Hell, Dave. He's in Hell.]
'Sord' for one column. [Dirk's voice, which is admittedly often spoken low in the throat, suddenly becomes even more low. Borderline mumble-y. Like he doesn't feel like talking to Dave about the other column?] 'Smuppet's in the other.
Not unless you're wiling to compromise on a really forced rhyme. [Guess who is not willing to compromise. Guess.]
Like I said, I'm going to need to reorganize. Normally I just use the orange sodas as the base for the column's rhyme, but I don't think I can even fit them all in if I want to keep a lot of this.
[Dirk should start trying that now.
But to do that, he'd have to eject the smuppet.
He does not want to eject the smuppet in front of Dave.]
Hang on.
[He works around this by kicking the Sord out and instead putting in the Orange Crush. That is a very versatile rhyme. It lets him move the smuppet from defining its column to forming a second row under Orange Crush. That lets him grab Fanta for his second column, which will be much more forgiving.
Fun with sylladexes.]
Okay, I'm good.
[Although he is still surrounded by shit and holding a Sord. But his columns are now workable, and that's what matters.]
Practicality is a virtue sometimes, dude. I've used "Y" as a vowel for the sake of not dropping everything. [ HE'D COMPROMISE ON THE RHYMES...even though he knows Bro would have hated that but no, not thinking about Bro.
Dave just crosses his arms and kinda waits for Dirk to sort his shit out. Sylladex problems aren't something he's had in years, but with ten cards he knows it's going to be a thing.
But Dirk doesn't criticize it, just like he won't push it on the rhymes. He does appreciate the merits of practicality. He just gets so mad at himself when he can't manage to pull off something impractical with ease. He should be able to survive on two rhymes without compromising. It's not that hard. He just has to get creative, and if he can't manage that, then he doesn't deserve what he's trying to pick up.]
I think I've got it. Legend says this one dropped down on Georgia's capital city. ['Weapon from Atlanta' puts it in the second column.]
Sorry about the soda, by the way. [You know. The bottle that hit Dave in the head.] I'll just abandon the rest of this for now and we can come back for it later. [He does grab the Hello Kitty and captcha the first, though. He doesn't care about losing the rest, except the pop, but he doesn't want to loose Hello Kitty! She is a key component for Roxy's next birthday present.]
[ at least dave never worries about elegance..."get this sword out of this slab? well pulling didn't work. LET'S JUST BREAK IT, WHY NOT".
...Should he comment on the Hello Kitty plush being picked up, NAH... ]
S'cool. I guess we should look around some...if everyone else had sylladex problems, they might not have computers on them.
[ So Pesterchum might be out... ]
Though I have to say I'm gettin' real tired of apocalyptic-ish decor. The meteor wasn't much better in the places Rose and Kanaya didn't make it randomly the 1920s.
I'm not getting any Internet access right now. [His glasses are just normal, pointy anime shades at the moment. Which, you know, they're also a computer in themselves, but what's the point of computer shades if without wifi? It's basically a spectacle-shaped brick.] That's probably going to be a dead end.
[He shrugs about the decor.] It's almost homey.
[#justpostapocalypsekidsthings.
Dirk decides to head out of the room his sylladex made a mess of and peer into the hallway. He takes one look from one side of the hall to the other before making his call.]
I was getting Halo vibes myself. Why do both options involve aliens that'll go up inside you or blow you up? I prefer our brand of wacky alien shenanigans.
[ Trolls are just mostly hilarious, unless they are clowns in which case they are mildly terrifying???? apparently?????
Dave follows along after Dirk, frowning suspiciously at the walls. ]
K, so I say we give John like...ten noogies. At least. Each.
[Dirk is kinda looking at this hallway thinking about what he has left to fight with. Puppetkind is empty. Bladekind is fucked.
Fancysantakind. If anything attacks him, he is down to Fancysantakind.]
Get a third person in it and we can each give him eleven.
[Dirk takes another step forward, and he feels the unpleasant bite of cold saltwater at his feet. He's used to it, but honestly? He's not letting this happen when he's wearing magic slippers. Dirk is opting to float.
Fuck you, ocean. Fuck you.]
The bridge might have a blackbox or access to the ship's database.
[ Fancysantakind and one sword-wielding brother, really. Which is...
Slightly better? Because wow. ]
K, if Rose is anywhere in the vicinity she'll help us out.
[ Rose knows how to bully John. As soon as Dirk opts to float, Dave follows suit, making a face at the water. ]
Dude, DeepStar Six. Or Poseidon. [ Dave...does it matter what ridiculous film you're in? No. ] But okay, bridge. Sounds legit, as long as you're the one doing all the computer shenanigans, because hate to break it to you but my skillz [ You can hear the z, drawn out ] involve, like. Downloading shit. Uploading it on occasion. Mspaint. All kinds of awesome, I know, but accessing a database isn't gonna be a thing I can do if it's more complex than point and click.
Roxy's honestly the better programmer. If I can't get into it, she'd be able to.
[It's a little easier to get down the hallway on divine floatpowers, in that it spares them from a lot of the debris that could get in their way. It's much simpler to duck through broken pieces than to pick your way around it on slipping feet.
And then there's the total wreckage that is the front of the ship. Holy shit. Wow.
It does, at least, give Dirk his first look at the vast ocean before him, visible between the flaming, tortured steel supports. A horrible familiarity sinks down into the pit of his stomach.]
Waterworld.
[He does not like that movie.]
Edited (html. formatting. being good at life.) 2016-05-02 04:28 (UTC)
Yeah, jsyk neither Rose nor I inherited those genes. Rose writes game guides though, it's like. Her thing. Cannot say I've ever read one straight through because holy fuck so many words and not enough coffee in the world.
[ Maybe Dirk can read Rose's game guides, like Kanaya. Two whole faithful fans to her wordiness while Dave eyeballs the prose and nopes the fuck out. He can parse her wizard fic because it's hilarious and she doesn't want him to read that (which makes him want to read that) but those fucking game guides.
Dave whistles, low, at the sight of the ocean. He's seen water before, but that...
That's just an absurd amount of water. ]
You win. [ Waterworld it is. ] Where's our submerged statue of liberty, 'cause I think literally every ocean apocalypse movie ever promised me one of those.
[Yes. He's going to read Rose's GameFAQs. Front to back.
In contrast to Dave's whistle, Dirk just sinks down so he can sit on one of the steel supports. God, look at this. Nothing but ocean for miles and the wreckage of the dead.
He's barely able to stop himself from laughing, but he manages to keep his mouth shut and his expression neutral. Dave does not need to see that. He forces himself to come back around to Dave's last comment on the subject.]
You'll have to make some.
[Some Statues of Liberty, that is. Dirk knows Dave has it in him.]
I think she would literally keel over with joy if you asked her for them to read, so knock yourself out.
[ Despite giving her a hard time and getting a hard time in return, Dave adores Rose to no real end. He may not be willing to read mountains of words for her, but he's willing to have other people do it, which is basically the same thing, right.
Dave kind of glances to the side, but doesn't seem to know what to say. Comfort is not his thing, and even if he notices a stony neutrality that he recognizes from his own brand of problem dealing, he...does not know what to say here. Everyone else he knows is better at talking to people than he is, when it comes to important shit. ]
Yeah, I can do that. [ Unimportant shit he can riff off of for ages, though. ] You have my full artistic talents at your disposal. Probs Rose's need to blow shit up, too, although if we ask nice she may try not to blow up the universe we're currently inhabiting. Maybe.
[It's the most bizarre thing in the world, but he sort of wishes he had Lil Cal here as company. Of course, Dave's here, and as much as it feels like a betrayal to think it, he'd absolute trade away Lil Cal for Dave any day. But it'd just be kinda nice to have that puppet nearby as a reminder that there's always something to keep him afloat when he's surrounded by this much sea.
Rose. Dave. Shitty Statues of Liberty. Focus. Dirk gets himself back up on his feet, and then he gets his feet back up in the air. They have floaty shit to do.]
There are probably access terminals in some of the other rooms. We can keep an eye out for a med lab. While we're moving, you can tell me about Rose's explosive tendencies. I'm going to say those are from Roxy.
[He doesn't feel justified in saying this. Roxy isn't actually that prone to blowing things up, overall.
But he's still going to put it on her side of the genetic pool because he can.]
You know the Green Sun? Rose blew stuff up so hard - including us - that we actually created it.
[ Admittedly, her plan had been to...do the opposite of that and no one could really change how fooled they'd been by mysterious white text asshole, but when Rose Lalonde makes a mistake she does so in grandiose sun-creating style.
There's something to be admired about that, Dave feels. ]
Also, she blew up her first gate? And like, shit, I feel like I should actually just start a list of stuff Rose blows the fuck up, why is this not a thing I was doing already?
1000
Wh - OW.
[ At least he didn't get beaned in the head with a grenade, but cue Dave putting a hand to his head and looking over his shoulder at Dirk. His shades have been knocked askew enough to reveal his eyes for the moment. ]
Dude. [ Are you thirteen???????? What was that - oh, orange soda, Dave goes to pick it up but freezes. That sure is a smuppet down there and he half expects 5 zillion more to fall out of the sky. After a pause he picks up the fanta while avoiding the puppet, before straightening back up. ] Yo, are you tryin' to even us up on the head score or what? 'Cause - holy fuck is that a Sord.
[ Whatever aborted decapitation joke he was about to make was probably going to be Too Soon. It's too soon even for Dave but that's hardly ever stopped him from bringing things up before. He got worse on the meteor. There's actual genuine delight at the shitty jpeg sord, though...
Dave. Dave, no. ]
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There is a vague hint of a wince made visible by the curving of his brows. Sorry for getting you on the head, bro. This turns into some concern as Dave notices the smuppet. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuuuuck.
While Dave examines the Sord, Dirk does a quick flashstep to pick up the smuppet and just shove it right back into the now-empty sylladex. SMUPPET? HAHAH WHAT SMUPPET. Out of sight, out of mind?
To prevent any post-traumatic puppet disorder moments, Dirk zones in on the Sord. Also, because he loves talking about his Bro's work. You chose to open that can of affection, Dave.]
Yeah, it's one of the weird, shitty three dimensional jpeg artefacts you made in my universe, like the Statues of Liberty. They're insanely durable. That one made it through re-entry into our atmosphere after a couple centuries in space.
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Haha, shit, I remember making that. [ In his own session, he means. ] ...We should probably find you a weapon that doesn't fucking suck, cool though it would be to fight with that thing. It's kinda hard to hold, right?
[ He holds out the orange soda DIRK CRUELLY THREW AT HIM (no) to his brother, before kind of. Nudging the Sord with his foot. ]
Also I'm not sure it can even give people paper cuts. Or if it's just capped to nothing worse than that? [ this close to picking it up and testing it on himself... ]
no subject
Unlike some iterations of Dirk we could name, Dirk is not okay with Dave playing around with shitty swords. Admittedly, that might be because this particular shitty sword is a Sord and he loves that Sord. Either way, he picks up the Sord before Dave can do something stupid with or to it, and he captchas it.
While holding the orange soda.
Puppets and Sord. Those are the rhymes now. There is absolutely no way he can get rid of the soda in his hand.]
Not that I'm objecting to getting my hands on a weapon that hasn't been cut in half [beautiful unbreakable katana you served him well] I'm kinda more concerned about why we're here and the others aren't? I know our session is all kinds of irregular, but I don't think the game would just scatter us. [You know who has scattered Dirk before? Jade Harley.
He is blaming your dog friend, Dave.]
Does this make sense with anything that happened in your session?
[It's a miracle Dirk hasn't given up on his compulsive need to understand a situation after all this time in Paradox Space.]
no subject
Man, can we just acknowledge for a second that I have climbed the sword-breaking echeladder to the TOP, though. Your stupid unbreakable shitty sword beat thirteen-year-old Dave, but I got my revenge. ...I mean, sorry about the broken sword and shit but heck yes no sword can stand my stupid sword breaking skills. It's like I caught all the Pokemon, although if it were just like that I guess in about two days there'd be like, five new unbreakable fucking swords I'd have to learn to break and my quest would never end?
[ ..................okay, right, dirk actually was talking about something important and Dave turns his attention to that now that he's rambled about swords.
And shrugs. ]
Dude, did anything in your session make sense? I literally at one point had to get thrown into a pot with onions and soup shit by nakodiles. Because shenanigans. This seems to make about as much sense as any of the other bullshit we've been thrown at.
[ Dave really can't work up to being that concerned about More Paradox Space Bullshit just now, although - ]
I don't like that we're separated from the others just now, but I'm assumin' it's a temporary thing.
no subject
Congratulations on breaking my sword. [...He thinks? It seems to mean a lot to Dave. So, good for Dave. He will be supportive and brotherly about things that matter to Dave, yeah! ...Even if it's breaking his sword. The important thing is that Dave is happy about it, so Dirk will be happy for him.]
Our session was pretty logical. It was doomed, we ran around attempting to do things in a framework that inherently refused to let anything get done, and then your session crashed into it and we killed all the bad guys so we could win the game.
[Simple. Logical. What was that about retcons and intermissions? Dirk doesn't remember those.]
I guess it's out of our hands, since neither of us have the appropriate powers. [Out of their hands. Out of Dirk's hands. It's out of Dirk's hands and he has to wait for someone else to sort it all out.
No.]
I should organize this shit before I explore this place. I'm pretty sure my sylladex just got ridiculously smaller.
[He's fine. This is fine. Everything is fine. Nothing rhymes with 'puppet' but everything is fine.]
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Don't think about it, Dave. ]
Also, yo. If you see anything in the game as being logical we need to have a serious discussion about your definition of "logical". Because I'm not sure "logical" and "Sburb" are allowed to be in the same sentence, let alone the same universe.
[ Dave kind of looks to the side, checking his own shit - he had less than ten items on him to start with, and nothing was conflicting, so it didn't eject everything. ]
...Whoa, shit, what the hell, are we thirteen again? I lost like most of my free cards.
no subject
Before Dirk defends his version of 'logical' with a dictionary definition and a serious overestimation of his ability to actually parse out causality in Paradox Space, Dave makes an observation that coincides with Dirk's problem.
That's weird.]
How many cards do you have left? Because I only have ten on a tech-hop style fetch modus. [He's in Hell, Dave. He's in Hell.]
no subject
But okay. On topic observations! He can totally stay on topic for a while. Maybe. Although there's a snort of laughter at that. ]
Holy shit really? I'm using hash map, so it's not terrible, but. I've got ten, too. So it looks like we've got kiddie training wheels on or something.
[ He can stay on topic -
nope ]
Dude, what rhyme scheme did you lock yourself into.
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'Sord' for one column. [Dirk's voice, which is admittedly often spoken low in the throat, suddenly becomes even more low. Borderline mumble-y. Like he doesn't feel like talking to Dave about the other column?] 'Smuppet's in the other.
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[ LIKE, HE SUPPOSES THAT WON'T BE A BIG HINDRANCE TO THE GUY WHO LOVES PUPPETS, BUT. is there anything else. ]
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Like I said, I'm going to need to reorganize. Normally I just use the orange sodas as the base for the column's rhyme, but I don't think I can even fit them all in if I want to keep a lot of this.
[Dirk should start trying that now.
But to do that, he'd have to eject the smuppet.
He does not want to eject the smuppet in front of Dave.]
Hang on.
[He works around this by kicking the Sord out and instead putting in the Orange Crush. That is a very versatile rhyme. It lets him move the smuppet from defining its column to forming a second row under Orange Crush. That lets him grab Fanta for his second column, which will be much more forgiving.
Fun with sylladexes.]
Okay, I'm good.
[Although he is still surrounded by shit and holding a Sord. But his columns are now workable, and that's what matters.]
no subject
Dave just crosses his arms and kinda waits for Dirk to sort his shit out. Sylladex problems aren't something he's had in years, but with ten cards he knows it's going to be a thing.
At least avoid collisions is still on. ]
I guess you can give the Sord a name?
no subject
But Dirk doesn't criticize it, just like he won't push it on the rhymes. He does appreciate the merits of practicality. He just gets so mad at himself when he can't manage to pull off something impractical with ease. He should be able to survive on two rhymes without compromising. It's not that hard. He just has to get creative, and if he can't manage that, then he doesn't deserve what he's trying to pick up.]
I think I've got it. Legend says this one dropped down on Georgia's capital city. ['Weapon from Atlanta' puts it in the second column.]
Sorry about the soda, by the way. [You know. The bottle that hit Dave in the head.] I'll just abandon the rest of this for now and we can come back for it later. [He does grab the Hello Kitty and captcha the first, though. He doesn't care about losing the rest, except the pop, but he doesn't want to loose Hello Kitty! She is a key component for Roxy's next birthday present.]
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...Should he comment on the Hello Kitty plush being picked up, NAH... ]
S'cool. I guess we should look around some...if everyone else had sylladex problems, they might not have computers on them.
[ So Pesterchum might be out... ]
Though I have to say I'm gettin' real tired of apocalyptic-ish decor. The meteor wasn't much better in the places Rose and Kanaya didn't make it randomly the 1920s.
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[He shrugs about the decor.] It's almost homey.
[#justpostapocalypsekidsthings.
Dirk decides to head out of the room his sylladex made a mess of and peer into the hallway. He takes one look from one side of the hall to the other before making his call.]
It's Alien.
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[ Trolls are just mostly hilarious, unless they are clowns in which case they are mildly terrifying???? apparently?????
Dave follows along after Dirk, frowning suspiciously at the walls. ]
K, so I say we give John like...ten noogies. At least. Each.
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Fancysantakind. If anything attacks him, he is down to Fancysantakind.]
Get a third person in it and we can each give him eleven.
[Dirk takes another step forward, and he feels the unpleasant bite of cold saltwater at his feet. He's used to it, but honestly? He's not letting this happen when he's wearing magic slippers. Dirk is opting to float.
Fuck you, ocean. Fuck you.]
The bridge might have a blackbox or access to the ship's database.
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Slightly better? Because wow. ]
K, if Rose is anywhere in the vicinity she'll help us out.
[ Rose knows how to bully John. As soon as Dirk opts to float, Dave follows suit, making a face at the water. ]
Dude, DeepStar Six. Or Poseidon. [ Dave...does it matter what ridiculous film you're in? No. ] But okay, bridge. Sounds legit, as long as you're the one doing all the computer shenanigans, because hate to break it to you but my skillz [ You can hear the z, drawn out ] involve, like. Downloading shit. Uploading it on occasion. Mspaint. All kinds of awesome, I know, but accessing a database isn't gonna be a thing I can do if it's more complex than point and click.
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[It's a little easier to get down the hallway on divine floatpowers, in that it spares them from a lot of the debris that could get in their way. It's much simpler to duck through broken pieces than to pick your way around it on slipping feet.
And then there's the total wreckage that is the front of the ship. Holy shit. Wow.
It does, at least, give Dirk his first look at the vast ocean before him, visible between the flaming, tortured steel supports. A horrible familiarity sinks down into the pit of his stomach.]
Waterworld.
[He does not like that movie.]
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[ Maybe Dirk can read Rose's game guides, like Kanaya. Two whole faithful fans to her wordiness while Dave eyeballs the prose and nopes the fuck out. He can parse her wizard fic because it's hilarious and she doesn't want him to read that (which makes him want to read that) but those fucking game guides.
Dave whistles, low, at the sight of the ocean. He's seen water before, but that...
That's just an absurd amount of water. ]
You win. [ Waterworld it is. ] Where's our submerged statue of liberty, 'cause I think literally every ocean apocalypse movie ever promised me one of those.
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[Yes. He's going to read Rose's GameFAQs. Front to back.
In contrast to Dave's whistle, Dirk just sinks down so he can sit on one of the steel supports. God, look at this. Nothing but ocean for miles and the wreckage of the dead.
He's barely able to stop himself from laughing, but he manages to keep his mouth shut and his expression neutral. Dave does not need to see that. He forces himself to come back around to Dave's last comment on the subject.]
You'll have to make some.
[Some Statues of Liberty, that is. Dirk knows Dave has it in him.]
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[ Despite giving her a hard time and getting a hard time in return, Dave adores Rose to no real end. He may not be willing to read mountains of words for her, but he's willing to have other people do it, which is basically the same thing, right.
Dave kind of glances to the side, but doesn't seem to know what to say. Comfort is not his thing, and even if he notices a stony neutrality that he recognizes from his own brand of problem dealing, he...does not know what to say here. Everyone else he knows is better at talking to people than he is, when it comes to important shit. ]
Yeah, I can do that. [ Unimportant shit he can riff off of for ages, though. ] You have my full artistic talents at your disposal. Probs Rose's need to blow shit up, too, although if we ask nice she may try not to blow up the universe we're currently inhabiting. Maybe.
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Rose. Dave. Shitty Statues of Liberty. Focus. Dirk gets himself back up on his feet, and then he gets his feet back up in the air. They have floaty shit to do.]
There are probably access terminals in some of the other rooms. We can keep an eye out for a med lab. While we're moving, you can tell me about Rose's explosive tendencies. I'm going to say those are from Roxy.
[He doesn't feel justified in saying this. Roxy isn't actually that prone to blowing things up, overall.
But he's still going to put it on her side of the genetic pool because he can.]
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[ Admittedly, her plan had been to...do the opposite of that and no one could really change how fooled they'd been by mysterious white text asshole, but when Rose Lalonde makes a mistake she does so in grandiose sun-creating style.
There's something to be admired about that, Dave feels. ]
Also, she blew up her first gate? And like, shit, I feel like I should actually just start a list of stuff Rose blows the fuck up, why is this not a thing I was doing already?
[ missed opportunities ]
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