subnautica | [OPEN MINGLE: SEPT 8-16]

I was perfectly fine with someone murdering me so their Hope could be victorious. Though... I suppose that was a foolish idea.

[Because look at what they all ended up being. No, there was more to go and he would definitely help out more in a different way now.]

You say that, but I don't think I could do such a thing in the name of despair. But....

[It seems too much in the name of hope too though.]

I would say it hurts to hear that, but I don't expect anything but those sorts of things from you.

Agh!

[Another, louder, frustrated groan.]

It's true . . . ! You're the one who acts that way! Don't act like I'm goin' out of my way to bully you. If you didn't do stuff like that I wouldn't say stuff like that!

[Why does he care, anyway?! This is stupid. Why does he give a fuck if Nagito thinks he's a hurtful person? Who would even want to be liked by this crazy weirdo in the first place, right?!

And yet here we are. Kazuichi can feel for himself that hearing it does make him feel . . . something.]

You don't understand anything. I would not, and will not ever do anything in the name of despair. You make me out like I go around hurting people for fun or something. I never tried to hurt anyone.

[Well, other than sort of try and kill everyone so the traitor could live. But that was a special situation. There wasn't much other choice then. It was a desperate situation. As for the party... well, who would have thought anyone had brought night vision goggles? It was his lucks fault.]

How can you just lie to my face like that?! I'm no idiot . . . you tried to kill everyone! You killed—why the hell'm I even arguin' with a crazy person?! If I don't understand anything it's 'cuz you're operating on insane alien logic!

[Bold words from Centank over here.

He rubs at his face with both hands, briskly, as if he could just wake himself up from this whole conversation and the twisted way it makes him feel inside. Is he crazy? Kazuichi—he, himself, is he crazy?! Is he stupid?! Is he evil?! Why can't he keep track of simple facts like that anymore, huh?]

To save the world! What are small sacrifices in the face of a greater good, a greater hope?

[His logic was sound, to himself. This was a thing he couldn't figure out, that his logic was flawed and no one else would get it. But it hurt to be called crazy, but he shouldn't let it bother him. It's not like Kazuichi's opinion mattered to him, not really.]

But this conversation isn't productive. That's all about things in the past. There's a different path to hope here, and we're all needed. We can only accept what has happened and move on. I'm at least willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

. . . Aaah . . .

[Sigh. He doesn't want to admit Nagito's right. Part of him doesn't want to call a truce. Nagito is—easy. He's easy to point a finger at, easy to hate and blame, and it feels good having that after everything they've been through and everything he's just learned.

But with it comes the rest: the sick feelings that maybe Kazuichi's crazy after all, that maybe he really could snap and strangle or starve Komaeda and, in doing so, prove him right. The way he can't trust himself. He can't trust his memories or his own feelings anymore, and here he is arguing with someone he has to eat meals with twice a day and build a fuckin' prosthetic arm for, building up tension between them that feels as fraught and uncomfortable as it does easy.

He blinks his eyes hard for a moment, staring down at his work.]

F . . . fine. I—guess you're right. Okay? I said you're right . . . hope you're happy. 'm sick of fightin' with you anyway.

[That's only half true, but it is half true. Or rather, it's entirely true, but it co-exists with the other, equal truth he only half understands: that fighting with him serves some addictive purpose.]

Good, because I would rather not fight with everyone, even you.

[With a sort of truce drawn with the most vocal opponent. Well... perhaps he should be a little more friendly.]

How exactly... is this going to work?

[He gestured towards the plans.]

You mean your arm, right? First of all, don't even bother with the crossed out one!

[He shuffles through his notebook. He'd been working mostly on the jetskis at the moment, but he's made some headway on the prosthetic too . . . that didn't involve any engines, miraculously. He brings up a page that definitely displays a more normal-looking plan.]

I gotta talk to Tsumiki about it, though. Good thing she's here . . . I'm good with machines and all, but you ain't a machine! So I've got things from this side, and she'll have to get things from the you-side. Like—

[He makes a gesture, knocking his fists together. It's both vague and vaguely suggestive, even though he displays no awareness that it is. He just keeps right on talking:]

Get it? I could just design you something that looks normal but doesn't do anything, but that's pointless for both of us . . . or I could design you something that works that you control with a remote or some other kind of input. I could probably do that on my own, but it wouldn't be very delicate, and it'd be a pain in the ass to use. But with her help, we can probably manage something you can control the way you would your real arm! I can only figure out so much of that, though. That's the part I'm workin' on now.

Hmmm, I don't actually know that much about how prosthetics work or nerve endings. Was our technology that advanced?

[It made him feel nervous the sort of things that would be involved in this.]

Have you spoken with Strider kun?

Not yet, but I'm gonna in a while. These—

[He flips back to the page with the . . . horse jetskis, pointing them out.]

—are for him, so I'd rather have everything down at once before I go bug 'im about it. But I'm close! It's gonna be sweet! I've got all kinds of tests to run, and prototypes to build! I was going craaaaazy back on that island without enough vroom to get me goin'!

[Even with Komaeda, he'll slip into this mood if he gets going. It feels like it's been a long time since he could get excited about machinery like this, so it's addictive to latch onto it and revel in the freedom.]

But I meant it, I promise I won't put anything like that in your arm!

Please don't. Also... I understand you were most likely working on this before, and I'm sorry that my presence has caused issue. [Sort of, sort of not.] However, if you could prioritize that it would be appreciated. It's a bit inconvenient.

But, at the same time I would understand where such things can wait. In fact, perhaps the inconvenience would be a boon. It would make me incredibly unlucky to not have a functioning hand.

[This went a whole lot of places. Kazuichi might have been reassuring, but after listening to the whole spiel, he's just baffled, and frowns lightly over at Nagito. For once, it's not really "at" him so much as confused.]

Why would you wanna stuck with somethin' so incredibly unlucky?

Well, considering where we all reside....

[He made a gesture up and around. So much water. So much of it.]

Surely if I were too lucky something unfortunate would happen.

[His tone was carefree.]

There's nothing to stop a crack from forming and the immense pressure all around us rushing in. There's a reason why it's harder to go into the depths of the ocean than expanses of outer space. I'm sure you understand that better than I do.

Thoug, the fact that I even have this problem to begin with might be enough of a payment. But you never know. Maybe simply being indebted to you will balance it off as well.

[Gulp. His gaze follows the sweep of Komaeda's hand; it's a good thing there's nothing to see from here, but the thought of it is probably worse than the reality would be. All he needs is his imagination and Komaeda's colorful imagery.]

Don't talk about that crap, you're gonna curse us! Don't you dare curse this whole place to implode! —And don't add an insult onto the end of it, either!

So you see the issue that's placed before me. What is the best course of action?

[Though if he thought about it, he would have to be incredibly lucky for such a thing to happen. Probably. Replacing his hand wasn't exactly lucky.]

I can only hope that it will all work out in the end.

The more you talk about it the more likely it is your prototype's gonna explode in my face or something! It can't be that bad. It can't . . . you definitely went through most o' your life with two arms. Two arms ain't lucky! Two arms is neutral! So all we're doing is bringin' you back up to neutral, and nothing bad's gonna happen.

[Who is he trying to convince here, though?]

That is a good point. As long as the status quo is kept it should be fine.

I suppose the truly lucky thing would be if the other thing I'm looking into actually pans out.

[Whoa, he actually said it was a good point . . . !

Kazuichi finally smiles at him; it's a wonder what some faint praise will do.]

What other thing? I ain't sure I should be behind it if it's gonna bring bad luck down on my head, though. But what is it?

[Well, it wasn't like everyone didn't know the flip floppiness of Souda's loyalties and opinions.]

That? It's nothing. You don't have to worry about it.

[He wasn't telling anyone, other than Valentine, and Hinata could continue thinking it was a lie.]

Hey, don't be like that! I thought we had a truce! You brought it up . . . it's really gonna bug me now if you don't spill!

Oh just a small project, but it's not really important. It's also impossible.

But I suppose I could be a little fair. If you can figure it out, I'll share the details. You can even ask for someone to help you.

Are you jerkin' me around here? If you're serious, you're on! I'll definitely figure it out!

I'm very serious! I'll give you three days even, to solve it. I'll give you a hint too. You can ask Hinata kun for help.

[He felt confident this would fail, but, part of him wanted to see if maybe it wouldn't.]

Edited 2016-09-21 03:41 (UTC)

You damn well better give me a hint . . . it's gonna be impossible startin' from nothing. You've gotta give me somethin' to go on! All right, I'm ready! Bring it on, Komaeda!

[He's starting to get a little pumped, even. This will surely end well.]

There are two people here who know. Hinata kun might be one of them.

That is your hint.

[OPEN MINGLE: SEPT 8-16]

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